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Season 2 Episode 12: "I work for everything while my peers lead carefree lives. How do I control the resentment?"

Season 2, Episode 12: “I Work for Everything While My Peers Lead Carefree Lives. How Do I Control My Raging Resentment?”

IT’S THE SEASON FINALE! And we’re ending it with a bang. Obviously by “bang” I mean a meditative quest to free oneself from the bitterness of resentment as we navigate this unjust and inequitable world. Because come on, it’s us!

The tl;dr of today’s episode is: comparison is the thief of joy.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself to your seemingly more successful, productive, and flush with cash peers, it can be majorly discouraging. We’ve talked before about why you shouldn’t hold yourself to the standard of the uber-successful, or why you shouldn’t long to splurge before you’re ready.

But one of the many, many horrible features of this global pandemic is that it’s becoming harder to avoid comparison. The internet—where we’ve all been forced to work and play while social distancing—is chock full of productivity porn and highly edited content specifically designed to make you feel like you’re not doing enough. Like you’ll never be enough.

So today on the podcast, we’re addressing how frustrating and hard it can be to stay motivated and encouraged when your peers seem to be crushing it… and you feel left behind in the dirt.

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Productivity porn is here to tell you how to fill your lonely, indoor, socially distanced hours.

I Am So Over Productivity Porn

As I write this, it’s six o’clock on a Saturday morning. I’ve been up since five. This isn’t normal for me. Normally, I sleep in till the decadent hours of seven or eight on weekends. (Ya jelly?)

Not today. Today I found my eyes springing open from dreams about wasting time and all the things I should be doing to… waking thoughts about wasting time and all the things I should be doing. So I got up. Because working on my goals is far more productive and important than sleeping, right?

Recently—actually, let’s be real—years ago I internalized the message, seared into me from intellectually stimulating op-eds, social media, self-improvement gurus, and our culture at large, that I could be “more productive.” As a result, I hate wasting time. I despise goal-lessness. Every year I brazenly make a New Year’s Resolution to better myself and the world around me and by god I get that shit done. I rarely spend a weekend sans plans and a rigid to-do list.

Dale Carnegie wishes he were me!

I’m bitch enough to admit this isn’t healthy. I can’t take a break from working without seeing the window trim I need to refinish or the herbs I need to dry or the hangboard where I should be doing pull-ups. And I can’t pursue those personal goals without thinking of the work I need to do, the money I need to make. I can’t even be lazy without being bombarded by evidence of how productive and accomplished my friends and idols are through their carefully curated social media.

I could be so much more productive! I should be so much more productive. Sleep? Relaxation? These look more and more like indulgent wastes of time.

Recently it’s only gotten worse. And I know, with damning clarity, that I am not alone.

Guys… I am so over productivity porn.

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Season 2, Episode 4: "Does my career have to define me? Or can I just clock out?"

Season 2, Episode 4: “Does My Career Have to Define Me? Or Can I Just Clock Out?”

I like me a timely discussion. Especially when it’s completely unplanned!

Which is definitely the case with this week’s episode of the BGR podcast. We recorded it in… April? May? (Time is a flat circle infected with COVID-19 so who fucking knows???) And yet it directly links to my story about getting laid off, which we published just a few weeks ago.

Toward the end of my job, I was really struggling with work/life balance, and making choices to prioritize my employment—not even my career, but just holding onto a job it turns out I didn’t really need—over my happiness. In short, I was balancing work and life all wrong.

Which leads us directly to this week’s illustrious podcast question asker!

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Mountains of debt cannot be repaid just by packing lunches and cutting cable. Those are comforting bedtime stories we tell ourselves about capitalism.

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage in 4 Years

As of fifteen minutes (and one very cold beer) ago, I officially own the beautiful house I’m sitting in right now.

My partner and I have been refreshing our mortgage account every few hours today, waiting for the final payment to process. (Weirdly, you have to WIRE the final payment. Seriously? After this years-long relationship of sending personal check after personal check, our mortgage lender refuses to trust us at the finish line? Fine, whatever…) Just before the close of the day, it happened.

Current principal balance: $0.00.

$0.00.

My mortgage is gone. I am done paying rent. If all things go according to plan, I will never ever pay rent again for as long as I live. Let’s talk about it!

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Hide your wives! The bitches are going to Ecuador.

DON’T Join Us for the 2020 Financial Independence Chautauqua

The 2020 Financial Independence Chautauqua has been canceled due to an international shortage of toilet paper the coronavirus pandemic. So the Bitches will NOT be going to Ecuador. We’re super bummed, but Cheryl has made the right decision by canceling this year’s event for everyone’s safety. Stay tuned for news about the chautauqua in 2021! We repeat: THE BITCHES ARE NOT GOING TO ECUADOR.

Throughout our illustrious career as the owners and proprietors of Bitches Get Riches, we the titular Bitches have become infamous for many things: berating you for throwing away your leftovers; trying desperately to appear young and hip yet betraying our ages with 1990s pop culture references; causing mass “language warnings” whenever our content is shared; arguing viciously over cheese crackers; and holding court at the hotel pool during personal finance conferences.

Yet there is one feather we have yet to add to our ostentatious hats: we are not yet widely known for speaking engagements.

Brace yourselves, for all of that is about to change.

Come see us talk in Ecuador of all places!

We’ve been invited to speak at the 2020 Financial Independence Chautauqua this August 29th to September 5th in Ecuador! AND YOU CAN COME TOO!

The FI Chautauqua was started in 2013 by J. L. Collins and Cheryl Reed. It’s a week-long retreat for forward-thinking humans to discuss the path to financial independence and—more importantly—what comes after. There are presentations, break-out sessions, discussions, tours of the incredible natural landscape and indigenous culture of Ecuador, along with plenty of time to shoot the shit and compare notes with your fellow travelers.

Since its inception, the retreat has hosted some of the finest minds in money nerdery waxing both philosophical and instructional about the finer points of financial independence, money management, and life.

Past speakers have included space mermaid and human inspiration dispenser Paula Pant; the mysterious yet whimsical Mad Fientist; the sparkling singularity known as Jesse Mecham of You Need A Budget; our sexy Gandalf himself, J. D. Roth; and the original bikevangelist and Man Who Can Do a Better Pool Cannonball Than Kitty, Mr. Money Mustache. Fucking nerdy, money-obsessed rockstars, all of them.

(Yet for some reason they’re adding us mere mortals to the roster this year. Clearly the Chautauqua has fallen on hard times.)

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Eight (Free) Time Management Systems to Try in 2020

Y’all want an inspirational quote?

Of course you do—bitches love an inspirational quote. I quote this one all the time and honestly strive to live by it.

“I’m not going to entertain drama, chaos, confusion, and madness.”

Alyssa Edwards

These perfect words, uttered by drag superstar Alyssa Edwards, are a universally applicable mantra for most situations. But I think of them often when I’m sitting down to make my own to-do list.

Drama, chaos, confusion, and madness intrude on my life every single day.

  • Coworker A wants 30 minutes on my calendar to “talk about a project” when what she actually wants is to vent about Coworker B. DRAMA!
  • My foster dog breaks her potty-training streak by squatting down and loosing her bladder all over the kitchen floor. CHAOS!
  • There’s a $35 fee from our bank because I meant to transfer money into an account but accidentally transferred out of it. CONFUSION!
  • Our podcast is late because I spent all of Thursday morning convinced it was Wednesday morning, even though I wrote “Thursday” at the top of my to-do list: MADNESS!

This is why I must be like Alyssa. I cannot entertain these distractions.

The pursuit of productivity for productivity’s sake is a symptom of toxic capitalism, which we do not wish to propagate. You are not obliged to systemize, optimize, or monetize all your precious moments upon this planet.

But our modern lives are full of endless, annoying actions to take and tasks to manage. Procrastination and disorganization invite a lot of unnecessary stress into your life. So today we’re talking about time management techniques. If you struggle with drama, chaos, confusion, and madness, try one out and see if it helps you!

Today’s post was brought to you by our Patreon donors, who voted for this topic in our monthly content poll. If you want to vote on the topics we cover next, head over to Patreon!

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Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”



Our podcast question today is on the topic of wealth, privilege, and g-g-g-g—

No, not ghosts! It’s g-g-g-guilt!

Specifically: rich white lady guilt! OooOOoooOOOO!

But don’t be afraid. Piggy and I are both ex-Catholics. Whatever kind of guilt you have, we can slice and dice it into bite-sized chunks with the studied grace of a teppanyaki chef.

Today’s question

“As a progressive person and someone who is starting to get into a pretty good place financially (have an emergency fund, bought a home a few years ago, paid off credit card debts), I’ve started feeling so guilty! It probably doesn’t help that I work in finance too. I don’t like capitalism but I’m working it the way I’m ‘supposed’ to. How do I feel less guilty for making myself financially healthy?”

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Why I Feel Filthy Fucking Rich

I recently went adventuring with some friends. As we were sitting in a hot spring at the end of a long day spent rock climbing in a national park (because we’re like biscotti: glamorous and crunchy), we started talking about money. My favorite topic!

None of these particular friends know about this blog. They don’t know I research money stuff and answer questions about personal finance for fun. So, in the tradition of thirsty voyeurs everywhere, I sat back to listen as my friends talked about negotiating higher salaries and faking it till you make it and—wait, hiring a maid? Ok, so there were clearly some differences in perspective. We’ll come back to that.

One of my friends proudly revealed that she is now making $130k a year at her new job. Babies, I am thrilled for her. She works super damn hard and she’s gifted and brilliant. But what happened next gave me pause.

“Your husband’s an art director, right? So he must be making pretty good money too by now,” I asked.

“Oh no. He only makes $70k a year. And he has student loans,” she answered, sincerely.

That response really took me back for a moment. Because fam… she was describing me exactly. I also make about $70k a year (at two whole jobs). And I also started my career with student loans. Yet I don’t feel like what I have is an “only.”

As a matter of fact, I feel filthy fucking rich.

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