health insurance Archives • Bitches Get Riches

Our (Ridiculously Simple) Method for Choosing the Right Healthcare Plan For You

April 16, 2024April 12, 2024 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 4 Comments

Choosing the right healthcare plan can be intimidating, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. The stakes are high; the options are confusing; there’s often a small window during which you can make the choice before you lose your chance; and the whole thing highlights the merciless jank that is our healthcare system!

Luckily, there’s an incredibly easy, 100% foolproof way to make the decision. Here’s our secret to choosing the right healthcare plan:

First, you put it off until there’s only, like, two days left to pick. Then, you forward all your onboarding documents to your dad’s wife, Carol. She is the perfect person for the task, being both generous and detail-oriented in a way you will never understand. Finally, you pick whichever one she says, and never think about it again until your soul walks the halls of the Duat and Anubis weighs your heart against Ma’at’s Feather of Eternal Truth.

Choosing the right healthcare plan? You can do that in your jammies.

… What’s that?

You don’t have a Carol?! My, how awkward for you.

I suppose that means the task falls to me. Heavy is the head that wears the crown of reading fine print! Today I’ll explain a really easy method for choosing the right healthcare plan. If you’ve never chosen your own plan, or you’re faced with a bunch of new options, it’ll help you quickly identify the best one based on your specific healthcare needs.

Today’s article pertains to the American healthcare system. International readers, I’m releasing you early. Use this time to study up on equally important international adulting tasks: navigating Ryanair’s lost baggage policy, keeping poutine from getting soggy, etc.

Your Super Simple Guide to COBRA Health Insurance

June 14, 2023March 7, 2024 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 9 Comments

It’s really hard to fully understand what COBRA is and how it works. It’s a strange but potentially useful little product—but you’re only eligible for it if your life is already in a state of chaos. I don’t know about you, but I’m not great at absorbing complex new information when I am flying through the sky like Adrien Brody in the opening sequence of Predators!

COBRA is a very specific type of health insurance coverage. You can get it in only one circumstance: when you leave a job that has employer-provided health insurance. It’s meant to help you bridge the gap between when your old insurance coverage expires and the new coverage kicks in.

And honestly? Thank god.

If I’m under a fantastic health insurance plan from January 1 to December 30, my ass will be immaculately healthy for all 364 of those days. Then on New Years Eve, I will accidentally drop a bottle of sparkling wine that cannot legally be called champagne. I will twist both ankles as I log-roll over it, windmilling my arms comically while shouting “w-w-woah!” Then I will tumble ass-over teakettle down a staircase, landing on a bed of spikes, and all my prions will simultaneously fold the wrong way.

My body, the day I'm not covered by COBRA.

Like, I’m not superstitious. I’ve just lived long enough to know that’s literally how the world works. The moment you don’t have health insurance coverage, something spectacularly bad is bound to happen.

Which is exactly where COBRA comes in!

3 Legal Documents You Need NOW and Where To Get Them Online for Cheap

January 26, 2023January 28, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 21 Comments

A while back, a mutual friend of the Bitches unexpectedly found themselves in the ICU. They were very young, very healthy, and due to be married to their deeply devoted partner within weeks. They were unconscious and totally incapacitated, and needed someone to make healthcare decisions on their behalf.

The funny thing about engagements is that they aren’t legally binding. So even though their fiancé absolutely knew their wishes better than anyone, all medical decisions reverted to their mother. I should say: the alcoholic, emotionally abusive mother they’d moved thousands of miles to escape from.

Maybe you’re one of those lucky people with a spouse, or living parents, who understand and agree with your decisions 100% of the time. But maybe you’re like our friend above, and your default healthcare advocate according to the law is dangerous, untrustworthy, or completely out-of-touch with your wishes and values. Failing to plan for unforeseeable medical emergencies can put your body and your life into the hands of someone who you don’t trust.

And that is a very, very scary situation.

BONUS EPISODE: "What can I do to prepare for life in a post-Roe world?"

How to Prepare for a Post-Roe World (Bonus Episode)

May 10, 2022January 27, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 12 Comments

In a good timeline, no one would have to prepare for a post-Roe world. Reproductive rights would be safely enshrined in our constitution, where they belong. Plus, ice cream would never melt.

Unfortunately, last week’s news made it abundantly clear that we’re in a crappy timeline. I accepted this news with horror, but not surprise. My faith in my elected representatives is as melty as a tub of Americone Dream left on the counter overnight.

But this isn’t the time to despair. It’s time to take action. Someone gave us the incredible gift of forewarning. We have two months to prepare. And there’s a lot of steps you can take to protect yourself and others in your community from the appalling consequences of forced childbirth.

Piggy and I hopped on an impromptu recording session to help our readers and listeners steel themselves for the fall of Roe v. Wade. And I’m thrilled to say we left our aimless thrashing and redundant moralizing on the cutting room floor! (Mostly.) What remained were actionable steps to help you prepare for a post-Roe world.

Listen below, or read on for a text transcript.

How To Get an Abortion

January 27, 2021May 3, 2022 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 31 Comments

Sometimes Piggy and I feel like we’ve written about every topic under the sun. Then we realize we haven’t written a guide on how to get an abortion. And we realize that no, indeed, Bitches Get Riches has only scratched the surface of topics related to finance, feminism, and fucks not given.

Abortion access has a staggeringly enormous impact on finances, whether you count that from a personal financial level or a global economic level. Yet it’s one of the least talked-about subjects in this space.

As an Angry Internet Feminist^®, I’d love nothing more than to burn bright with the flame of moral outrage and say it’s because people are cowards. But I actually think a lot of people are intimidated by the topic because it’s a genuinely complex one to research, with laws varying by state and changing all the time. But it’s that complexity that makes it such an important topic to share with you, our readers.

We dream of a future where there are no barriers for anyone to seek out this common, safe, and morally neutral medical procedure. But for many people throughout the world, that future isn’t coming quickly enough.

So today we’re going to walk you through how to get an abortion! Including information on how to self-administer an abortion safely, affordably, and discreetly if you live in an area hostile to reproductive rights.

Today’s discussion obviously mentions pregnancy loss. We also touch on the logistical challenges of managing unsupportive partners and parents, but it’s pretty tame. No gory medical talk; no sexual violence.

Coronavirus Reveals America’s Pre-existing Conditions, Part 1: Healthcare, Housing, and Labor Rights

October 27, 2020March 10, 2022 Piggy 8 Comments

This article continues in Part 2.

My fellow Americans… we’re currently in month 784 of 2020, aka The Plague Times, so let’s take stock:

8.4 million Americans have contracted the novel coronavirus.
41.4 million have been infected worldwide.
222,000 Americans have died from the disease.
1.13 million have died worldwide

It’s… a lot, I know. The facts are grim, and they’re only getting grimmer.

But if you’re feeling like all of this death, economic destruction, and tragedy came out of nowhere, I have even worse news for you: it didn’t. For the sad effects of the pandemic are neither sudden, isolated, nor unpredictable.

Rather, they are the results of a system that has been balancing on a precipice for decades. A global pandemic was simply the last push needed to send this car over the cliff and hurtling spectacularly to the rocks below.

The coronavirus has singlehandedly revealed the pre-existing conditions our country has been ignoring, denying, and dismissing since ~~dinosaurs~~ Ronald Reagan roamed the ~~Earth~~ White House.

Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown

May 3, 2018March 7, 2024 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 35 Comments

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which makes this an excellent time to talk more about our beautiful broken brains!

(Ahem. Because I am an honest chap, I feel compelled to stress that we did not plan this in advance. We are not nearly organized enough to do that. It was purely coincidental.)

I’m an advice column junkie. My regs right now are Where Should We Begin?, Dear Prudence, Dear Sugars, Savage Love, Care and Feeding, Captain Awkward, Ask a Manager, My Brother My Brother and Me, and the collective wisdom (?) of r/relationships. Yeah… it’s a problem.

When the subject of mental health arises, I’m perennially dismayed to see a very narrow, circumscribed answer appear again and again and again. It goes something like this:

“Go see a therapist; get counseling; find a psychologist; get into therapy; go see your school’s counselor; go to a mental health clinic; you need to be in therapy; find a support group; have you talked to your therapist; have you tried group therapy; talk to your doctor; therapy, therapy, counseling, therapy…”

And this really bothers me.

It’s not that this advice is bad. It’s not bad! All things being equal, most people would probably benefit from therapy. I have no doubt that the net benefit of professional mental healthcare is incalculably vast.

But it pains me to see therapy described as a one-size-fits-all solution for every person in every situation. I’m someone who experiences intermittent depression. Like half of all mentally ill people in the United States, I’m not currently receiving medical care for it. This doesn’t mean I’m irresponsible or helpless. There are a lot of very understandable reasons why people can’t or won’t seek professional help. Let’s talk about a few of them.

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment

April 16, 2018May 31, 2022 Piggy 23 Comments

You just got a job offer! Condragulations! Now it’s time to negotiate… for your life.

But before you start throwing numbers around, there’s something you should understand. Salary—the thing most think of when they are considering the terms of a new job—is but one item on a long list of negotiable items. And while it’s wicked important, your potential employer might not have as much room to adjust there as they do in other areas.

So aside from salary, you need to think about what you need to be happy and comfortable in a new job.

What is going to improve both your financial situation and your overall life? Because if an employer can’t budge on the salary, that doesn’t mean they don’t have something more to offer you in other areas.

So let’s talk benefits, shall we?

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

July 11, 2016May 26, 2022 Piggy 11 Comments

Being unhealthy and generally unfit is expensive. Living a truly sedentary lifestyle (one in which the word “exercise” is avoided at all cost and bursts of physical motion are vanishingly rare) is associated with all kinds of expensive illnesses and health risks. It literally costs you money to be lazy and out of shape.

But being fit and healthy is affordable by comparison. You can save yourself all kinds of money on healthcare costs and lifestyle expenses just by working your muscles periodically throughout the day. As far as frugality goes, physical fitness is an all-around genius tactic for saving.