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Alas, is there any escape from the wicked, Beargloved hand of the patriarchy?

The Pink Tax, Or: How I Learned to Love Smelling Like “Bearglove”

Gather round, you brilliant budgeting baby bears, while I ‘splain you one of the greatest economic injustices known to womankind. Yes, once again sexism is rearing its ugly head and unnecessarily cocking up our financial goals. Try not to act so surprised.

Did you know that women pay more for imported products than men do? How about personal hygiene and self care products? Healthcare? Dry cleaning? It’s true, and this cost discrepancy is known as the Pink Tax.

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I know people who pay Spotify $9.99 a month just to avoid listening to ads. That is insane to me. You are not Bing from that one episode of Black Mirror. You are not in a science fiction dystopia with no mute button.

How to Insulate Yourself From Ads

“If any one unwarily draws in too close and hears the singing of the Sirens, his wife and children will never welcome him home again, for they sit in a green field and warble him to death with the sweetness of their song. There is a great heap of dead men’s bones lying all around, with the flesh still rotting off them. Therefore pass these Sirens by, and stop your men’s ears with wax that none of them may hear…”

You might remember this passage from high school. It’s from Homer’s Odyssey. Specifically, it’s the part where the sorceress Bavmorda gives advice to Willow Ufgood (hero of the Odyssey) about how to navigate temptation.

Although she is a rapscallion known for turning soldiers into pigs, she’s a smart lady and gives pretty good advice. Willow ends up lashing Madmartigan to the mast of their ship while stopping his own ears (and those of the prophesied child Elora Danan) with wax.

Sometimes, the best way to resist temptation is to physically stop yourself from experiencing it in the first place.

Did he get an Oscar for this?

This got me thinking about advertisements. The average American sees more than 5,000 of them every single day. For some people, it can be as many as 20,000. Although you only remember seeing a small percentage of them, the amazing supercomputer that lives in your skull is constantly processing them on a subconscious level.

The point is, the best way to avoid the temptation of ads is to insulate yourself from them. Here are some easy ways to do so.

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