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S2 E5: "What do I need to know about moving into my first apartment?"

Season 2, Episode 5: “What Do I Need to Know about Moving into My First Apartment?”

It is Bitches Get Riches canon that Kitty and I met when we were randomly assigned roommates freshman year of college. We bonded through the adversity of cohabiting in a forced triple with an infuriating third party who shall forever remain nameless. The two of us shared a bunkbed and ceded one entire half of the room to that creature’s baffling habits and excessive belongings. I won’t go into it except to quote General William Tecumseh Sherman: “War is hell.”

Yet BGR lore rarely tells the end of the story! For after that fateful freshman year, we went on to rent our first apartment together, taking our roommateship to the next level. Nothing tests a friendship like shopping for a shower curtain together.

We survived our fourth-floor walkup with its busted dollhouse dishwasher and coffin-like shower. But more importantly, our friendship survived.

And thus, we feel uniquely qualified to dispense advice on Baby’s First Apartment!

This week’s question

Today’s question comes to us from Patreon supporter Aidan. Aidan asks:

Hello. I have been a longtime follower of your blog, but now I’m in need of financial advice so here I am. I have been researching throughout the internet and all, but there isn’t enough information about getting a first apartment. Like, what type of hidden costs or whatever are important to know about in regards to getting an apartment? How much money will I end up spending in the initial months of moving into an apartment? What type of things do you wish you knew before moving into your first apartment? Advice is much appreciated, thank you for taking time to answer this question.

– Patron Aidan

It’s like someone sent up our Bat Signal.

For more of our very knowledgeable thoughts and opinions on the matter of apartments and moving out for the first time:

We heckin adore our patrons. They’re the special sauce that brings this whole blog-cum-podcast together.* So thanks to our Patreon donors for supporting us. We know it’s but a pittance in exchange, but we reward all our patrons with exclusive goodies like 24/7 Q&A support, exclusive merch, and voting on article topics every month. If you want to join the ranks of Bitches Get Riches supporters, head on over to our Patreon page!

*Forgive me, but I cannot promise I will never use the words “special sauce” and “cum” in the same sentence again on this blog.

Season 2, Episode 4: "Does my career have to define me? Or can I just clock out?"

Season 2, Episode 4: “Does My Career Have to Define Me? Or Can I Just Clock Out?”

I like me a timely discussion. Especially when it’s completely unplanned!

Which is definitely the case with this week’s episode of the BGR podcast. We recorded it in… April? May? (Time is a flat circle infected with COVID-19 so who fucking knows???) And yet it directly links to my story about getting laid off, which we published just a few weeks ago.

Toward the end of my job, I was really struggling with work/life balance, and making choices to prioritize my employment—not even my career, but just holding onto a job it turns out I didn’t really need—over my happiness. In short, I was balancing work and life all wrong.

Which leads us directly to this week’s illustrious podcast question asker!

This week’s question

An anonymous Tumblr follower asks…

Bitches, halp. I don’t want to do amazing shit for my job. I just want a steady 9-5 with routine, white-collar work I can drop and forget the second my feet cross my home threshold. I’m in the EU, so this kinda job still exists over here, lucky me. But damn if I don’t feel bombarded from all sides with “LOVE YOUR JOB; YOUR JOB DEFINES YOU; YOU = YOUR JOB; IF YOU DON’T HUSTLE 24/7 YOU’RE A FAILURE.” How the fuck do I kick that outta my brain? I just wanna earn money, feed my cat, and play games, dammit.”

You’ve got to admire the pure simplicity of this question. They’re not looking for passion and fulfillment inside the workplace… because they’re planning on getting it through their rich personal life! And yet this seems so antithetical to every fucking “LOVE YOUR JOB AND YOU’LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE” inspirational poster hanging in a middle manager’s office.

Can one truly just rake in a paycheck and then completely disconnect? Leave work at the office and revel in truly free personal time? Let’s find out!

For more on this topic:

Our patrons are the wind beneath our wings. Without them, season two of the podcast simply would not have happened. We literally can’t stop thanking our Patreon donors for all the support they give us. Which is why we reward their loyalty with patented BGR goodies, like exclusive merch, monthly article topic polls, and direct, 24/7 access to our Bitchy guidance. If you want to join the ranks of Bitches Get Riches supporters, head on over to our Patreon page!

Podcast Season 2 Episode 1: "I'm financially stable, but my friends aren't. The guilt is crushing!"

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

“We’re back” isn’t just a dinosaur’s story anymore. Or it is, but it includes these dinosaurs! (we said, gesturing at our own wrinkled selves).

That’s right, kids, the Bitches are back with season two of our podcast!

This week is all about friendly debate. What’s the line between the nearly extinct middle class and The Rich, Who Must Be Eaten? Who has the most responsibility for driving change? Most importantly, who does the better Ursula?

(We meant to settle this with our very loud and obnoxious Poor Unfortunate Souls-off, but I’m not sure a clear winner was established???)

This week’s question

An anonymous Tumblr follower asks…

Hi Bitches! You guys have been so helpful to me. I graduated last year with no student loans thanks to my parents, I got a job in that field with a pretty good salary for an entry level position, I’m contributing to my 401(k) and I’m close to paying off my credit cards. So that’s fantastic!

But as I’m looking at the near future of actually having a decent amount of money in the bank, emergency/retirement funds, living a bit more comfortably, I’ve started feeling really guilty.

Most of my friends come from a less fortunate background than me, whose parents aren’t able to be as generous, and also haven’t been as lucky with jobs. I feel like I have no business having money in the bank when people I care about are struggling. And then I feel ridiculous for complaining about a problem that boils down to “I have too much money.”

I’ve helped a couple of friends by covering a bill until they get their check, for example… but sometimes I overextend my budget by doing that, which obviously isn’t ideal. But I keep doing it because I feel awful that I have a safety net (with my parents) and they don’t!

I want to help my friends, but I also want to be financially stable myself. As money-savvy folks who are also very aware of the state of the economy, have you had any similar feelings? Do you have any advice?

Yes and yes, and plenty of ’em! Listen and let us know how this question made you feel.

A few suggestions for further reading…

Thanks as always to our generous patrons for their help creating another season of our podcast. Patreon donors get direct access to our nefarious and not-very-good-working minds. Donors can pitch us questions directly, and get private answers from us directly in their inbox. Join us over at our Patreon page!

Episode 009: MERRY BITCHMAS! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular



Today’s podcast episode is brought to you by the reason for the season: Bitchmas. Second only to Candlenights in the pantheon of winter holidays, Bitchmas is a time to gather your loved ones, exchange hyperbolic gifts, and rally the troops for economic equality and social justice.

No questions shall be answered in the Bitchmas episode (except perhaps “What will these lunatics think up next?”), but we promise it’ll be worth it. We’ve got shout-outs to our patrons! Odes to the finest bitches in personal finance media! Gifts for all and sundry! And… a very special guest!

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Episode 008: "My mother demands information about my one-night stands."

Episode 008: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”



Today’s lettersnatch’d is a bona fide adult, and is trying to have fun and explore her sexuality. But her mother feels entitled to know more about the people she’s spending the night with.

It’s really hard to get wet when you’re being bombarded with long-distance parental Snoop Rays and Fret Beams. So let’s fix this.

Today’s question

I [22F] have been having some one night stands, and I recently decided it’d be best to keep my mother [56F] uninvolved in my love life. I let her know when I won’t be home, and will vaguely tell her I’m out on a date and staying over, but I won’t tell her who it is, where
he lives, how long I’ve known him, etc.

“She’s very upset that I’m having sex and staying over at guys’ houses. I feel like as an adult I can make my own decisions and she should be respecting that I want to keep my love life private. Apparently she’s been talking to my father about this as well and is super upset that she doesn’t have the details on who I’m with.

“What can I do to ease her mind while also not telling her who I’m with when I go out?”

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Podcast Episode 007: "I'm terrible at budgeting. Do I suck it up---or is there another way?"

Episode 007: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”



Today we’re doing that thing we love to do: taking age-old advice, rolling it up into a ball, and dunking it with the speed and grace of a green-screened figure.

You don’t have to budget to live a frugal, responsible life.

Today’s question

We tackle this topic at the behest of Patron Sarah C., who writes…

“How the HELL does someone stick to a budget? I have ADHD and self control and budgeting is already hard as is, so if you have any tips or tricks to help a gal stay in a budget (especially a very stringent one!) that would be neat :)”

Also today’s episode contains a bold-faced lie. In it, I swore I would never bring a chicken to the vet. This was recorded before my favorite chicken got sick. And I contemplated the enormous sacrifice she made laying an egg for us every single day, and I…

Brought her to an emergency avian specialist…

At great expense…

What can I say? I am as lava cake: crackly exterior, gushy interior.

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Episode 005: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”



Today’s podcast question comes to us from Patreon donor Rachel. She’s in a good situation overall: stable, paying down debt quickly, and gainfully employed as an engineer.

But her feelings about engineering overall are, mmm… tepid.

Shall we slap her for even considering leaving a lucrative and in-demand field? Or shall we kiss her on both cheeks and push her off the gravy train? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Today’s question

“I’m an engineer, I’ve been working for five years, and I don’t think it’s something I’ve ever truly been passionate about. My experiences have made me realize just how much I love project management. That can be done as an engineer, yes, but those jobs are fewer and more far in between.

“I’m thinking of branching out, but honestly, I’m scared. What if I don’t like it? What if I can’t get back into the engineering field once I’ve been gone for so long? The job I have now (along with my wife’s) gives us ample salaries that allow us to save and pay down debt like crazy. I can’t say that the security of those salaries isn’t alluring, though I hate to be tied to a job just because of the money.

“I don’t want to fuck myself over in the long run. I want to ‘retire’ early and spend my life doing the things I love. But I also don’t want to be unhappy at work. Please send help. 🙏”

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Episode 002: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”



Wow, thanks to all the folks who left a nice review on our very first episode! Please continue to ignore our amateur hour aspects. Squint hard and see only the good!

The second episode of our podcast returns to the realm of the workplace, where we give A++, very sound and rational career advice to a listener.

Today’s question

“Hey Bitches! I hope you can help me on time. I recently accepted a job offer after 6+ months of being unemployed!! I start this Monday and I want to know: what are the most important things you should do on your first day at work?

I’m a fresh grad so all this is new. I keep finding lists with like 15 things, and that’s way too much to keep track so I need help! Also one bit of advice I saw often was that I should ‘check in’ throughout the day with my manager/boss: how exactly do I do this?”

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We have a surprise for you...

Listen to the Siren Song of the Bitches: Coming to a Podcast Near You!

It’s that time of year again—time for we, your humble yet inspiring Bitches, to go on summer vacation.

We have many exciting grandma activities to enjoy during our usual two-week hiatus: gardening, cooking, nature walks, fattening up Kitty’s desperately entitled guinea pigs, grinding the bones of the patriarchy to bake our bread. Big plans, y’all! Big plans!

We know how much you’ll miss us, which is why we want to remind you that this isn’t good-bye, only see-you-later you can soothe your grieving souls by listening to one of our recent appearances on your favorite podcasts. Plus, we have a surprise for you…

You’re heckin’ welcome.

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