Bitches Get Riches.

About the Bitches

What is Bitches Get Riches?

Finance. Feminism. No fucks given. It’s Bitches Get Riches.

Bitches Get Riches is a survival resource for life in a patriarchal capitalist hellscape. Through our award-winning blog and podcast, we impart funny lessons about the adulting skills we were never taught, yet mysteriously expected to know. Our goal is to help others get good at their finances, careers, and personal lives. And we want to do it without being boring, condescending sell-outs.

Think of Bitches Get Riches as a beautiful test tube baby. The ovum was harvested from the life experience of two financially solvent feminist killjoys. But the sperm is just a writhing mass of capitalist bullshit. Though not our first choice of donor, we are raising this baby with all the dedication and ferocity of Lisa Banes’s character in the classic Lifetime thriller Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

BGR is run by Piggy and Kitty, two sexy yet reclusive geniuses. Some people wonder which of us is the Bebop, and which one’s the Rocksteady. But that question is an illusion! For we are both Krangs.

Ya wanna know about the Bitches? Here's literally a still photograph of both Piggy and Kitty.

Who are the Bitches?

Meet Kitty, aka Lauren Torres

Title: Co-Bitch, Chief Brand Officer

Day Job: Brand strategist at a major tech company

Myers-Briggs: ENTJ

Hogwarts House: Slytherin (Gryffindor secondary)

Areas of Expertise: Sailor Moon, how great horses are

Personal Heroes: Malcolm X, Skeletor

Career Goal: Hateful old crone

Kitty was born in the American Midwest, but was voted off in season seventeen. Her wan complexion, intellectual elitism, and gay haircut are all way more welcome in New England, so she lives there now. She shares her life with her partner and twelve pets because she does. not. do. half. measures.

Being broke and jobless awakened her interest in personal finance. Eventually she scammed her way into corporate America, which is where the suckers who give out paychecks and laptops live. When caught spacing out in a meeting, she likes to say “But will it scale?” and it works every time. No one suspects a thing.

Her intensity and her laziness are turnt to eleven. All other attributes are like, y’know, threes? She wants to retire early because she just doesn’t want any more goddamned emails. Her big retirement plan is to live in the woods and do grandma things: read, garden, dote on pets, bake bread, not know who contemporary musicians are, back her car into trees…


Meet Piggy, aka Jess Fickett

Title: Co-Bitch, Chief Content Officer

Day Job: Managing editor at a financial media company

Myers-Briggs: INTJ

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw (Hufflepuff secondary)

Areas of Expertise: Zombies, female singer-songwriters of the 1990s, every imaginable use for parmesan cheese

Personal Heroes: Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Leslie Knope

Career Goal: Freelance firer of bad bosses

Since the day she was born, Piggy has lived by the words, “No me digas qué hacer, tú no eras mi mamá!” The daughter of two army veterans, she settled in a rural New England town at age ten and decided that’s where she would “be from.” She now lives with her spouse, The Worst Dog, and a rotating cast of refugees from the Island of Misfit Toys somewhere Out West.

Piggy has devoted her entire education and career (completely against the advice of much wiser people) to the craft and business of book publishing. Almost a decade in, she’s now the sloppily drunk lifer at industry mixers advising all the interns to learn coding before it’s too late. But mostly she just enjoys rejecting manuscripts. And lording her secret knowledge of dangling participles over the rest of you plebeians.

The granddaughter of Italian immigrants, she is a natural born nurturer. She will yell at you if you’re not taking good care of yourself and eating enough. She enjoys gardening, rock climbing, obsessing over science fiction, and playing Chris Dane Owens’s “Shine On Me” on the guitar.


As seen/heard in…

Have we failed to adequately convey our sparkling legitimacy? Apologies, my lord…

*Aspirational, or “a lie” if you’re feeling judgmental. Why you gotta be like that?