Category: Uncategorized

Our (Ridiculously Simple) Method for Choosing the Right Healthcare Plan For You

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 4 Comments

Choosing the right healthcare plan can be intimidating, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. The stakes are high; the options are confusing; there’s often a small window during which you can make the choice before you lose your chance; and the whole thing highlights the merciless jank that is our healthcare system!

Luckily, there’s an incredibly easy, 100% foolproof way to make the decision. Here’s our secret to choosing the right healthcare plan:

First, you put it off until there’s only, like, two days left to pick. Then, you forward all your onboarding documents to your dad’s wife, Carol. She is the perfect person for the task, being both generous and detail-oriented in a way you will never understand. Finally, you pick whichever one she says, and never think about it again until your soul walks the halls of the Duat and Anubis weighs your heart against Ma’at’s Feather of Eternal Truth.

Choosing the right healthcare plan? You can do that in your jammies.

… What’s that?

You don’t have a Carol?! My, how awkward for you.

I suppose that means the task falls to me. Heavy is the head that wears the crown of reading fine print! Today I’ll explain a really easy method for choosing the right healthcare plan. If you’ve never chosen your own plan, or you’re faced with a bunch of new options, it’ll help you quickly identify the best one based on your specific healthcare needs.

Today’s article pertains to the American healthcare system. International readers, I’m releasing you early. Use this time to study up on equally important international adulting tasks: navigating Ryanair’s lost baggage policy, keeping poutine from getting soggy, etc.

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A Hand-Holding Guide To Planning the End of Your Pet’s Life

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 24 Comments

Stop. I know you read this title and attempted to turn and flee back out the door. I anticipated this and caught you by the back of your shirt. We need to talk about this now.

If you’re reading this blog, you’re likely Millennial or Gen Z. They’re the largest pie slice of animal lovers—one in three owns a pet. And our attitudes about pets are really intense. Half of us describe loving them more than our own mothers. And all of those pets are doing the absolute worst thing any pet can do: getting old without us.

You likely won’t have experience with being solely, directly responsible for managing a living being’s decline and death. So we’re going to explain what’s gonna happen, and give you our very best insights.

OH, LIKE I DO? I didn't wake up eager to talk about the end of your pet's life but here I am...

I promise to make this discussion as brief, honest, and detached as possible. We’ve written maudlin tear-jerkers about pets before, and I swear this won’t be one of those. But this is a subject that’s sadly present for both of us right now. Life’s given us lemons recently; this guide will be the lemonade. We want to give some guidance to the people who will one day face the same challenge, so they can feel prepared. All of this advice comes straight from our hearts.

At the end, there’s a handy checklist for your convenience. If you do everything on it, you’ll be as ready as you can be for the end of your pet’s life. Many of them are actions you can start taking long before your pet gets grey around the muzzle, so don’t put off reading it.

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We’re in a New Bull Market! Should You Give One Single Fuck?

Piggy 11 Comments

While out at dinner last week, a friend turned to me and said, “I heard some positive news about the economy and a new bull market today. Yet it seems like nothing has changed for the better with the finances of most people I know. My sister in money nerdery… what, pray tell, the fuck?”

What the fuck indeed!

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more Americans than ever are struggling to pay their household bills. Housing is currently unaffordable for half of American renters, a record high as reported by the Joint Center for Housing Studies at Harvard University. And analysis from the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Lewis shows that Americans’ financial stress due to credit card debt has reached levels not seen since the Great Recession of 2008-2009.

Yet despite all of these extremely fucking dire stats, there’s apparently reason to celebrate! For we have entered a new bull market! That’s way more important to the economy than [checks notes] rising eviction rates and a massive baby formula shortage, right? Right?

… right?

Hello, class inequality, my old friend. It’s time we got super bummed about you again.

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How Saving Money Is Like Losing Weight… And How It’s Really Not

Piggy 20 Comments

In 2024, the second most common New Year’s Resolution is to save money.

The first most common? To lose weight.

Dear readers, I have made both of these resolutions. I slogged through months of dieting—both of spending and of eating—dragging my goals and expectations behind me. And I emerged from the experience wiser, richer… and the exact same weight.

How I felt after dieting for both my weight and my money.

That’s right. Today we’re talking about dieting.

Controlling one’s body and controlling one’s finances are often brought up in the same breath. And I think it’s useful to talk about the ways in which they’re similar—but also so very different!

For the purposes of this article, I’m going to define a diet as a temporary change of exercise and eating habits for the purposes of changing your body shape and weight. Temporarily cutting out all carbohydrates counts as a diet, as does implementing a points system a la the WeightWatchers diet. But we wouldn’t include, say, omitting gluten because you have Celiac disease. Having a diet ≠ dieting.

If that’s not your jam… blame our Patreon supporters! Those gorgeous, charitable, artistically gifted people specifically chose today’s topic. And as they literally pay the bills around here, I’m going to lay my heart (and my cellulite) bare according to their whims.

Today’s topic includes discussions of dieting, weight, fatphobia, and eating disorders. I’m going to use the word “fat” a lot because we believe in reclaiming it as a neutral description so that it loses its power to demean and insult. If you’d rather not read this post, it’s okay. I promise I still love you.

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The Best Personal Finance Books of the Year, According to Our Very Exacting Standards

Piggy 2 Comments

Ah, the liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Time to eat snacks, play video games, and read some books!

While we can’t feed you delectable morsels directly from our freshly manicured fingertips, nor beat Margit the Fell Omen in Elden Ring for you, we can help with the third one. For we Bitches are avid readers! Every year we scour the shelves for excellent books on money, glean their wisdom, and pass on the best ones to you.

Without further ado, here it is: The Bitches Get Riches guide to the best personal finance books of the year.

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Would You Rather Owe Taxes or Get a Tax Refund This April? The Answer Might Surprise You!

Piggy 3 Comments

Gird your loins, everyone! Tax season is almost upon us.

International readers, today you are dismissed. Go prance off to enjoy your state-sponsored healthcare or hold a wealthy politician accountable for their actions. Or, if you enjoy being baffled and horrified by uniquely American shitfuckery, stick around! Because nothing will make you more grateful to live in Denmark, Canada, or Namibia than the tax laws of the United States.

A few years ago I asked Lauren this question: “When it comes time to file your taxes, would you rather receive a tax refund or owe taxes to the government?”

“Get a tax return. No question,” she answered.

Which surprised me! Because as far as I was concerned, I’d much rather owe taxes than get a tax refund. I told her as much, to which she said “Just wait until your income increases. You’ll change your mind real quick the first time you get a five-figure tax bill.”

So what was that all about? Which Bitch had the right answer? Is there a “right” answer?

Today I want to go over a little-known quirk of the tax system, one that affects taxpayers from all across the income spectrum. And in the end, I’ll go over what you can do about it to save yourself the most money in the coming tax season.

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Yanely Espinal Gets Real About Financial Strategy in New Book Mind Your Money

Piggy 3 Comments

During our reign as the overlords of Bitches Get Riches, Kitty and I have met a lot of interesting and successful people: millionaires, rich startup founders, wealthy media darlings, best-selling authors. But every once in a while we meet someone way more interesting.

The first time we were booked to speak at an event with Yanely Espinal, we did a collective double-take as soon as she started talking (and not just because of her delightful Brooklyn accent). Yanely was talking about strategies for breaking the cycles of generational poverty, how to make wealth-building accessible, and practical ways to motivate, educate, and inspire normal-ass humans to reach their money goals.

Most folks probably know her as MissBeHelpful on YouTube and Instagram. But Yanely has been making a name for herself all over the place as a storyteller who makes financial concepts straightforward and blessedly non-boring. The Brooklyn native also left her job as an elementary school teacher to direct general do-goodery at the educational outreach nonprofit Next Gen Personal Finance.

And naturally, we dig her with a real big shovel.

I caught up with Yanely to talk about her new book, Mind Your Money, and find out what she has against exorbitant credit card interest rates.

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Update: Do I Have a Right To Know About My Partner’s Finances?

Piggy Leave a comment

Friends, I come to you today breathless with excitement. Remember Anonymous Rex, the bitchling who wrote to us about their secretive significant other? The one whose partner was all like “I can know about your finances, but you can’t know about mine“? The one whose partner was most likely hiding something sketchy from Anonymous Rex, according to moi?

They wrote back.

And oh baby is it juicy:

Hey Bitches,

Anon with the cagey significant other here. Turns out they were alarmingly deep in debt, were not honest about how much they were working, and more. They were very upset about having to mention anything financial, and were pissed that I thought I had a right to know their personal matters.

So, I broke up with them. Not just because of the finance stuff, though it was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back. And I feel freer and happier than I have in years. Which probably sounds really heartless, because you’re supposed to be all torn up about ending relationships, especially ones that are as serious as that one was, but… it’s true. I don’t know what it says about the relationship if when it ends, all you feel is overwhelming relief, but… that’s how I felt.

Thank you so much for your response to my question. It’s good to know that it isn’t crazy or invasive or unreasonable to want to know a significant other’s financial situation/how they handle their finances. I was beginning to think it was. I’ll keep that “personal finance is personal—not private” mantra in my head, going forward.

-Anonymous Rex again

No but in all seriousness it sucks to be vindicated in this way. The full-body orgasm I receive from being right about something is somewhat dampened by being right about bad shit happening.

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Life Insurance: Responsible Investment or Waste of Money?

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 6 Comments

I didn’t understand anything about life insurance until I was in my late twenties. I’d just started a small blog with a friend (you wouldn’t have heard of it), and it was unclear how many people were reading it. Until one day, when a shocking email arrived in our inbox. A company wanted to give us money to recommend a product.

The product was life insurance.

Jess (that’s Piggy to the uninitiated) and I regarded this offer with the confused-yet-intrigued energy of hungry fish watching a worm wriggle on a hook. Obviously we hadn’t had the audacity to make a preemptive affiliate marketing policy. Life insurance sounded like the kind of thing responsible adults should have, right? And it would be cool to offset the cost of running the site, wouldn’t it? We agreed to take a few days and devote our shower thoughts to the idea.

Like many a wise rainbow trout, we decided against the hook. No matter who you are, easy money is always a fat and juicy temptation. But we agreed we’d rather run the blog at a loss than sell random crap to our readers. Happy with this decision, we sat down to our inbox to find two more unsolicited affiliate offers.

These products were also life insurance.

In the years since, they’ve never stopped coming. We get a new one at least once a month. Now, we have the experience to understand why life insurance companies are so eager to pay bloggers to rep their stuff. Today, we’ll permanently burn that bridge by explaining how it works—and why we think most life insurance isn’t worth it for the majority of our readers.

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Ask the Bitches: Do I Have a Right To Know the Private Details of My Partner’s Finances?

Piggy 5 Comments

When we started Bitches Get Riches, we thought we’d be writing mostly about paying off student loans and building credit scores. And to be fair, we’ve done a lot of that! But more and more we find ourselves coming for Dear Prudence’s job. Because it turns out handling finances within a romantic relationship is hella complicated! And sometimes we get a question about financial transparency among partners that does us a concern.

Like this one:

Hey bitches! I know personal finance is personal, but if your significant other is being cagey about their finances even after you’ve been together for years and want to move in together/get married, is this a red flag? I don’t expect them to disclose all their spending habits or whatever, because yeah, personal finance is personal. But I feel like it’s reasonable to want to know what their income is and how much debt they have, especially if they know those things about you and you’re planning on a life together. Those things affect the rent you can afford and all sorts of stuff. But they act like I’m unreasonable and invasive for wanting to know, which makes me wary.

Anonymous Rex
Lack of financial transparency... scares me.

You’re right to be wary. And you’re definitely not being unreasonable. Let’s unpack this suitcase of red flags.

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