Bob Iger Would NEVER Bring a Water Dish for Skippy: The Classist Myth of Unskilled Labor

I told my co-blogger that my next article would be titled “Bob Iger Would NEVER Bring a Water Dish for Skippy.” She packed her belongings into a handkerchief tied to a stick. I think that means she’s excited!

Okay, okay, a little context…

There’s a new video setting YouTube ablaze. It presents a clear and fascinating rebuttal to the classist myth of “the low-skill worker.”

  • The storyteller is YouTuber Jenny Nicholson.
  • The setting of her deep-dive is the recently defunct Star Wars hotel.
  • The villains are insanely wealthy people trying to make themselves even wealthier by guessing what the unwashed masses want… and getting it totally wrong because they’re inept, greedy, and out of touch.
  • The heroes are the unpaid interns and minimum-wage workers whose dedication, creativity, and work ethic create the magic their bosses unsuccessfully wasted millions of dollars chasing.

Y’all, this video FIRED ME UP. I’m neither a Star Wars fan nor a Disney adult, but it doesn’t matter. The video is well worth watching. I’m only going to speak to a very small slice of it, which I’ll summarize for folks who don’t have the time or interest to watch it all.

In this age of unprecedented wealth inequality, it’s singularly important for workers everywhere to understand how their labor is being exploited. The story is juicy and entertaining—but we also think it’s a great opportunity for readers to develop the skill of recognizing labor exploitation. Because if you don’t know you’re exploited, you can’t take steps to stop it.

So sit back and let me explain the significance of bringing a water dish for Skippy—and why Bob Iger would never think to do it.

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The Bitches Get Riches Brand Promise: Social Media, Plagiarism, and AI in an Age of Exploitation

“You know how we joke about our ‘brand promise’?” I say to Jess in our weekly meeting.

“You mean our guaranteed minimum of dick jokes? Naturally! Why?”

“I’m thinking of finally writing a real one.”

“Oh, like a sentence or two in the sidebar?”

I make a face. My coblogger regards me with the abrupt suspicion of a dog owner whose faithful friend is chewing on an item of unknown provenance. “How long is it?”

“Kinda long…” I concede, a bad dog chewing faster.

She sighs. “I look forward to reading it.” This is what she says when she’s resigned to receiving an eleventy-thousand-word shitstorm that defies editing for clarity and brevity, delivered the morning we’re supposed to publish. And like X, I’m gon’ to give it to her.

Lately my brain has been leaking big, scary thoughts about the nature of the work we do here. Conversations about AI, plagiarism, social media, and the value of creative labor swirl through my head. I try keeping these thoughts where they belong: in the shower. But sometimes they escape and bully their way to my word processor.

Today, I want to spell out the real Bitches Get Riches promise. To make specific promises, and to explain why they’re so important. Because I want you to know me—and because I want you to know what you can (and cannot) expect from “content creators” in this time so fraught with artifice and greed.

It’s a little different from our usual. Indulge me, and I’ll strive to reward you for your patience.

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5 Horror Movies About Money to Terrify You This Spooktober

5 Horror Movies About Money to Terrify You This Spooktober

Just in time for Halloween, we’re here to pitch five of our favorite horror movies about money. We just noticed it’s been far too long since we wrote something unabashedly silly. Forgive us!

You may not know this about us, but we Bitches are high-key obsessed with scary movies. If we’re hanging out together, odds are high we’ll throw on something with ghosts, ghouls, werewolves, or axe-wielding serial killers. There are three main reasons this genre appeals to us:

  1. Horror movies are creative. They often have tiny budgets, which forces filmmakers to work with what they have and hone in on what matters. Many household names got their start in the proving grounds of horror. It’s a chance to see fascinating examples of undiscovered genius.
  2. Horror movies expose uncomfortable truths about life and society. All great spooky films are about something real. The surface-level scares of a zombie horde are symbolically linked to our deepest anxieties about other people. The vampire is the unknown outsider; the werewolf the uncontrollable id. The horror genre boldly leaps into subjects where comedies and dramas fear to tread.
  3. Adrenaline is a helluva drug. We’re too old to know where to get good drugs. We have to make them the old fashioned way: by abusing our endocrine systems. With art!

And really, isn’t that what’s interesting about money, too? Our ~*whole deal*~ is trying to make the best, most values-aligned decisions we can with limited funds. This article is extremely on-brand and aligned with our core mission. DO NOT try to tell us otherwise!

Today, we’re plugging a few of our favorite horror movies with a financial twist. The terrifying root of each one is something related to money and the power it brings.

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Join Us for “Burning the Bootstrap Mentality” at the 2023 Plutus Impact Summit

Join Us for “Burning the Bootstrap Mentality” at the 2023 Plutus Impact Summit

Kitty will be speaking at the Plutus Impact Summit on September 21-22, 2023. Sign up to attend here!

I have a confession. Piggy and I have been doing a lot of speaking in the past year. But you haven’t seen it, because they’ve been private events and conferences. This reveals a hypocrisy at the core of Bitches Get Riches. We pretend to be women of integrity and bravery, and yap on and on about inclusivity n’ shit, but the cold facts are these:

  1. We’re too cowardly to ask for a +10,000 on those invites.
  2. We wanted to minimize competition over drink tickets and/or cheese boards. Excuse me. I woke up early and brushed my hair. Those Bud Lights and sweating cubes of cheddar on a toothpick are obviously MINE.

But all of that is going to change! Because I’ll be speaking at the Plutus Impact Summit, and you can come too!*

It’s a virtual event running on the afternoons of Thursday and Friday, September 21 and 22. Tickets are dirt cheap, and the first 150 people to register will get a free copy of keynote speaker Farnoosh Torabi’s latest book, A Healthy State of Panic.

The Plutus Foundation is one of our very favorite organizations. They’re a nonprofit dedicated to the financial education of everyone—emphasis on the everyone. Honestly, they’ve done more than anyone we know to spotlight diverse new voices within the personal finance space. They’ve consistently rejected the traditional “suck it up, anyone can do it if they buy apartment buildings instead of food” bullshit we so loathe, and challenged the community to dig deeper and do better.

Given that, it’s no surprise they asked me to join a session called Burning the Bootstrap Mentality alongside Rich Jones and Kevin Payne. LORD, send us MILK, for this panel is going to be SPICY, and I cannot WAIT!

You can see the full agenda here. All of this year’s speakers are undeniably incredible. The lineup includes many of the people we love best and respect most. We’ll plant our lovely asses in the audience for every session. And if the topics interest you too, we hope you’ll join us!

*Tragically, because this is a virtual event, you will have to provide your own Heinekens and crudités + elegant tub of ranch dressing.

State of the Blog 2023: What's New and Changing at Bitches Get Riches

The State of the Blog, 2023: What’s New and Changing at Bitches Get Riches

Are we early to write a state of the blog 2023 post? Or late to write our report on 2022? You decide!

Either way, it’s been a while since we talked about something very important: us. So today we’re breaking the chains on our tethered egotism and sharing news about Bitches Get Riches. Here are the questions we’re answering:

  • What are your plans for Bitches Get Riches in the coming year?
  • Will you be at any conferences or events this year?
  • How’s it feel to run a legit-ass business with an actual factual employee?
  • How can I help you give your assistant a bigger bonus, because she deserves the sun and the moon and all the stars betwixt them?

Okay, okay, that last one is not a real question anyone has asked us. But we’re still going to answer it! Because we’re giving her a surprise bonus, and you can help make it bigger. Read on for details!

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Chocolate Sandwich Cookies, Ranked

We Ranked Chocolate Sandwich Cookies by Taste and Price So You Don’t Have To

It’s that time again! The time of year when we gather with our fellow witches closest friends around a glowing green bonfire kitchen table to determine which village baby to steal away name-brand snacks are worth it… and witch which are not!

Last time we settled the ancient blood feud of which cheese cracker is best. There were lots of surprises in that test! And the results permanently altered the course of our cheese-cracker-buying habits.

This year we’re talking about chocolate and vanilla sandwich cookies: a thin layer of vanilla cream resting in the loving embrace of two chocolate cookies.

Yes… we’re talking about Oreos and Faux-reos.

Guided by our extremely awesome Patreon donors, it is time to answer the question: can a store brand cookie knock the Oreo from its throne and/or cast it down into the darkest pits of hell?!

Let’s find out!

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The Bitches Are Hiring Staff (Finally) and *It Could Be You!*

The time has come at last for us to do the thing every single mentor in our industry has told us to do for, like, four years: stop trying to do absolutely everything ourselves. The Bitches are hiring a few lil’ helpers!

Consider this proof of our emotional growth. Poverty mindset is like the smell of burnt popcorn: it lingers on and on, long after snacktime is over.

We started this blog as the kind of people who will stuff their faces with day-old bagels because they were left on a table outside the conference room. And damnit, we are still very much those people! We’re so not used to the idea that it might make sense to… pay? Someone else?? To do work we could very well do ourselves?!? LMAO OKAY.

The bitches are hiring?! LMAO OKAY.

But, our little blog ain’t so little anymore. Our style of writing requires heaping fistfuls of spoons. We’re finally ready to acknowledge that invisible, non-fun administrative work is snatching up far too many of said spoons.

It’s time to bravely don our competent businesswomen cosplay outfits, and strut around the hotel lobby like we know what we’re doing!

So… we’re hiring!? <breathes into a paper bag>

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Money is Fake and GameStop is King

Money Is Fake and GameStop Is King: What Happened When Reddit and a Meme Stock Tanked Hedge Funds

This past week I spent significant time on our Tumblr fielding live questions about what in the fresh-baked hell was going on with Reddit and GameStop.

I tried to keep up with the news and do the Explain Like I’m Five in real time, but it was all moving too fast. David and Goliath were fighting, and David wasn’t just winning—he was feeding his fists to Goliath like they was ham sandwiches.

Eventually I decided to hold onto my butt with the rest of you and enjoy the pyrotechnics, committing to waiting for the dust to settle before I tackled #gamestonk from a Bitch-eye-view.

Is… is it over now? Is it safe to come out?

And what the hell just happened and why am I still laughing about it?

Note: be aware that some of the Reddit links in this story have offensive language. And if two women who CHOOSE to go by “the Bitches” are slapping a content warning on something, we mean business! In particular, they really love using the r-word as a term of endearment. So consider that before you click. Additional context in the comments below.

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Holy Shit, We’re the Year’s Best Personal Finance Blog?!

Holy Shit, We’re the Year’s Best Personal Finance Blog?!

Well, butter my bread and call me a biscuit! Bitches Get Riches just won the 11th Annual Plutus Award for Personal Finance Blog of the Year.

We’ve actually been up for this award every year since we launched this blog in 2017. But of course 2020 would be our year, wouldn’t it?!

I’ve decided I find it the ultimate compliment to be considered the best personal finance blog in 2020. This supremely wretched year has been packed with so much darkness and chaos. Maybe the traditional advice-dispensers—the people who really know what they’re doing, and have perfect faith in our world and its systems—found themselves as lost as everybody else.

Luckily, our tumultuous lives have trained Piggy and I in the crucial survival skill of making absolutely fucking everything up as we go along.

Perhaps we aren’t the noble lions of this world, but the crafty raccoons! We’re adept at digging through garbage with our creepy little trash!panda hands to find the next morsel of sanity and stability. And since there’s never been a year with more garbage to sort through, doesn’t it make sense that this was our time to shine?

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Bitches at the Crossroads: State of the Blog, 2020

Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

UM EXCUSE ME WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

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