Today I’m answering a timely question from one of our Tumblr followers. Takeittothestarss asks…
“Hi bitches! I hope you’re well and that you can help me (in that order). I’ve recently moved out of my parent’s house into an apartment with a couple housemates. Our building is old and not well insulated. It also doesn’t have A/C or heating, so right now it’s cold as balls. I’m wearing 5 sweaters and a blanket and I’m still cold. How do I warm this space up? I can’t make any modifications to it bc it’s a rental and we’re college students in very expensive city, so the less $ the better. Thanks!”
Ah. Heat. Like hope, it leaves the world sometimes, and we’re all worse off for it. But this is a modern late-stage-capitalist twist on a classic tenet of life on the cheap.
If there’s a Ten Commandments of Frugal Living, the first three are probably…
- Thou shalt not drinketh the fruit of the latte.
- Thou shalt cut thine cable.
- Thou shalt put on a goddamn sweater.
This coincides with the first two of the Ten Commandments of Being Dad…
- Thou shalt not touch the thermostat.
- Nay, seriously, thou shalt not fucking touch it.
I live in New England, which is about as cold and dark as Hell itself. Even now, several feet of snow are pouring down around me. Even worse, I live in an old house that’s still heated by oil.
Each fill-up is about $500.
Like most frugal New Englanders, I have shivered my way through many a cold winter day, trying to save a few ha’pennies to buy my husband the new watch chain he so richly deserves. So I’m going to tell you what I know about staying warm.
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