How to Instantly Increase Your Credit Score… for FREE

While we were in the mystical city of Cincinnati recently, we did a live Drunk AMA on YouTube! It was great. We slow-flossed to a church hymn and dispelled the rumor that Ducky is, in fact, a vampire.

One of the questions we received was about Experian Boost. It’s just one of many services that offer to raise your credit score… for a fee. Even in our chaotic drunken state, we were lucid enough to unequivocally recommend that most of you shouldn’t bother with these paid services. There’s an easier, faster, and free way to raise your credit score!

Since not everyone wants to suffer through a 97-minute YouTube video of our collective vocal fry, I am now here to share the wisdom of how to instantly raise your credit score for free. Cast aside those paid services that promise you a better credit score! This is all you need to know.

Read More

6 Lessons YOU Can Learn from the Silicon Valley Bank Crash

When news of the Silicon Valley Bank crash broke, I sighed deeply. Because sighing deeply is the age-appropriate version of a toddler pounding their fists on the floor screaming “I don’ wanna, I don’ wanna, I DON’ WANNA!” That’s always how I feel when I have to understand some complicated new brouhaha caused by oligarchs’ greed, when all I truly need in this life is more naptime.

Guys, don’t worry. Because I am a grown-up woman with finely tuned coping mechanisms, I worked through my tantrum and I did it! I understand what the hell happened to Silicon Valley Bank.

Paragon of intellectual generosity that I am, I’m going to explain it back to you. 

If you want an in-depth, technical breakdown, this ain’t gonna be it. I’m going to focus on what this means for us plebs. That means skipping all the boring parts, creatively employing childish metaphors, recklessly speculating about its impact on the future of the economy, and oversimplifying absolutely everything.

Complex, dense financial topics explained by babies, for babies. That’s the Bitches Get Riches brand promise!

Read More

Here’s What to Do With Those Credit Card Pre-approval Offers You Get in the Mail

You check the mailbox. In between the ubiquitous Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon, snail mail from your Aunt Clarita, and a bill you’d rather ignore, you see it: you’ve been pre-approved for a brand new credit card!

Holy shitballs, what luck! Of all the random folks with mailing addresses, you have been deemed special enough to receive a credit card pre-approval offer! Bring out your finest meats and cheeses, for surely this means you are that most superior of beings: a person worthy of credit! Dance about the maypole and imbibe your most decadent libations!

You should call your bestie, your family, your therapist! Things are looking up now that a credit card company has bestowed upon you a pre-approval offer. Cancel your evening plans, for you need to respond to this with… an application? For… a credit card? For which you’re already… “approved”???

Something’s off. If you receive a credit card pre-approval offer in the mail, shouldn’t that mean you don’t need to apply for it? Especially since you didn’t even ask them to consider pre-approving you.

Today we’re going to teach you what those credit card pre-approval offers are really all about. And we’ll show you exactly what to do with them. It’s easy, it’s fast, and anyone can do it! Read on to learn The Deep Magicke.

Read More
21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Aren't Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage

21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Aren’t Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage

I’m always looking for great sustainable swaps, because I love finding ways to reduce my footprint. (In an ecological sense only—been holding steady at size 7.5 for years.) I try to recycle, compost, buy less, shop local, and choose more sustainable options. But I’m just one woman! I can’t test out everything. So I asked our endlessly wise Patreon community. And boy did Bitch Nation deliver!

My only caveat was that these sustainable swaps can’t suck. 

  • Paper straws that disintegrate into wet clumps in your mouth? Absolutely not!
  • Coffee pods sold to us as green because you’ll “waste less water”? Lies and pictures of also-lies!
  • Cloth napkins that cost—I’m sorry—$92 for a set of four?! WHAT! I’m not linking to the site because they claim to be handmade by artisans, and I’m sure those artisans are very nice people. BUT STILL!

Out of this list, ye devils! These sustainable swaps need to be as good—or gooder!—than the products they’re designed to replace. Nothing prohibitively expensive or complicated.

And definitely not shitty.

Read More
State of the Blog 2023: What's New and Changing at Bitches Get Riches

The State of the Blog, 2023: What’s New and Changing at Bitches Get Riches

Are we early to write a state of the blog 2023 post? Or late to write our report on 2022? You decide!

Either way, it’s been a while since we talked about something very important: us. So today we’re breaking the chains on our tethered egotism and sharing news about Bitches Get Riches. Here are the questions we’re answering:

  • What are your plans for Bitches Get Riches in the coming year?
  • Will you be at any conferences or events this year?
  • How’s it feel to run a legit-ass business with an actual factual employee?
  • How can I help you give your assistant a bigger bonus, because she deserves the sun and the moon and all the stars betwixt them?

Okay, okay, that last one is not a real question anyone has asked us. But we’re still going to answer it! Because we’re giving her a surprise bonus, and you can help make it bigger. Read on for details!

Read More

Season 4, Episode 12: “I’m Considering Moving Across the Country With My Partner. How Hard Is It To Start Over?”

IT’S THE BITCHES GET RICHES PODCAST SEASON FINALE!

That’s right, Bitch Nation. Our twelve-episode season has come to an end and we’re so grateful you’ve stuck with us for it all. And if you haven’t, then you’re dead to us. We value loyalty very highly. Don’t tell us you’re getting your dick jokes about money somewhere else.

This is the episode in which we become the dating advice column we’ve always wanted to be. Enough with this pErSoNaL fInAnCe nonsense! Bring on the marital strife and daytime talk show material! We have strong opinions and we are RIGHT!

Our discussion this week is packed with harrowing financial and relationship decisions. How do you know when you’re ready to move in with a significant other? And what if that means moving 900 miles to a whole different community? How do you start from scratch in a brand new place, with no one but your romantic partner for company?

Read More

2023 Student Loan Forgiveness Update: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Remember back in August of 2022 when we were all stoked to hear about the Biden Administration’s plan to forgive federal student loan debt? Yeah. Things have changed.

I’m here to update you on the status of federal student loan forgiveness. Shit’s complicated though, so if you didn’t read our FAQ about the program when it was first announced, you might want to get that background before reading any more. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

Now that you have the background, I’ll give you the latest on where federal student loan debt forgiveness stands, along with some guidance on what student loan borrowers can do from here. Spoiler alert: there’s Bitch-on-Bitch drama at the end.

Read More
Season 4, Episode 11: "My boss kept my tips. Is that legal—or did she steal from me?"

Season 4, Episode 11: “My Boss Kept My Tips. Is That Legal—or Did She Steal From Me?”

“My boss kept my tips.” Wow. Ernest Hemingway needed six words to tell a complete dramatic story. But we just told a complete horror story in only five words! That means we’re 120% more powerful and effective than a Pulitzer Prize- and Nobel Prize-winning writer. Although anyone who had to read Hills Like White Elephants in high school already knew that.

“I can’t argue with the math. These girls completely cucked me.”

– Ernest Hemingway on Bitches Get Riches

But you know who can (and will) argue with math? Bosses who steal tips from their employees!

Today’s letter writer is a tipped employee. When customers leave tips intended for them, only a fraction are actually getting passed along. Instead, their boss is keeping most of that money for herself. She claims it’s fair, because they were told it was the policy upfront. She also claims it’s legal, because the employees are paid above minimum wage. Is she right?

Bad employers gain cover to steal from their employees when the employees don’t understand their own rights. You’ll finish today’s episode with knowledge of the one—ONE!—crystal-clear situation where an employer can take their employee’s tips.

Don’t work in a tipped capacity? Listen anyway, and share it with someone who needs it. Just as it’s the employee’s right to be tipped, it’s your right as a customer to know your tip money is reaching them. We’re all stuck in this system together. And it’s only by mutual support that we can make it better for everyone.

Read More

3 Legal Documents You Need NOW and Where To Get Them Online for Cheap

A while back, a mutual friend of the Bitches unexpectedly found themselves in the ICU. They were very young, very healthy, and due to be married to their deeply devoted partner within weeks. They were unconscious and totally incapacitated, and needed someone to make healthcare decisions on their behalf.

The funny thing about engagements is that they aren’t legally binding. So even though their fiancé absolutely knew their wishes better than anyone, all medical decisions reverted to their mother. I should say: the alcoholic, emotionally abusive mother they’d moved thousands of miles to escape from.

Maybe you’re one of those lucky people with a spouse, or living parents, who understand and agree with your decisions 100% of the time. But maybe you’re like our friend above, and your default healthcare advocate according to the law is dangerous, untrustworthy, or completely out-of-touch with your wishes and values. Failing to plan for unforeseeable medical emergencies can put your body and your life into the hands of someone who you don’t trust.

And that is a very, very scary situation.

Read More