Contact Us

Got questions? Well, we almost certainly do not have answers! We float through the waters of life like capricious nixies, beguiling human men with financial tricks and deceitful advice. Know us by the wet hems of our skirts and our teeth like sharpened fishbones.

Here are some ways to get in touch.

“I just wanna say ‘I love you!'”

Darling, we love you too! People like you are exactly the reason we do what we do.

  • The best way you can thank us is by paying us! BGR is radically donor-funded. If you have a couple bucks to spare, please become a patron so that we can keep doing what we do.

If you can’t afford to pay us, here’s a few free things you can do:

  • Share your favorite articles to help new people find us!
  • Leave us a nice review in your podcast app of choice!
  • Leave a comment with your story on any of our articles!
  • DM us on Twitter, Tumblr, or Instagram!

“I have a question about my financial situation!”

Ask your question here! We get a lot of questions, and we can’t answer them all, but there’s a chance we’ll pick yours. Patreon donors are guaranteed an answer.


“I want to write a guest post for you!”

No!

No, no, no.

We don’t do guest posts. Ever.

In the whole history of this site, there are ZERO articles that weren’t written personally by us. Yet somehow, every day, we get three emails from people asking if they can write a guest post for us. It’s aggravating.

If you email us asking to do a guests post, we will be sad because it means that you didn’t read this. Which probably also means that you didn’t read the intro paragraph at the top of the page. I worked hard on that! And I thought was pretty funny! I reserve my god-given right to punish you with a zesty reply for wasting my time.


“I want to pay you to share my content!”

No thanks. If your shit is good, we’ll share it. If it isn’t, we won’t!


“I want to set up an affiliate program with you!”

Probably not. BGR is extraordinarily picky about affiliates. We are not Billy Mays, we are not here with your Hercules Hook! We will only accept if your product is so good we sincerely want to use it ourselves. If you think you might clear that bar, email us at the address at the bottom of the page.


“I want to get y’all on my show!”

I mean, we probably want to be on your show. We’re whores for fame and free food. (There WILL be free food involved, right?) We do live speaking engagements, videos, podcasts, and guest articles. Email us.