Jobs & Careers Archives • Bitches Get Riches

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

November 8, 2023November 8, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 14 Comments

We’re Millennials. Which means we graduated from college in 2009, just in time for the Great Recession to really fuck with our job prospects and salary levels. Nevertheless, we persisted, managing to carve careers out of the bleak post-recession landscape, a feat that eventually led to us being amateur career advice-givers right here on the internet!

I lead with all this because circumstances are feeling… familiar. The COVID-19 pandemic has hammered Gen Z especially, just as they’re starting their careers and building independent lives. And no matter your age, the pandemic took a toll on a lot of folks’ livelihoods. They’re facing challenges like what we experienced, and we hate it. So our time has come! Learn from your slightly-elders, younglings!

Graduating in a recession leads to earnings losses of about 9% compared to those who graduate in balmier financial climates. The pay gap takes a full decade to become statistically insignificant. For the average worker, that amounts to five grand in a single year. The lost opportunities to invest some of that income—as well as the recession-graduate’s stymied options for other jobs—creates a staggering wealth gap.

Worst of all, it’s completely fucking unfair, because those affected were kids when this hot mess was cooked up, yet still the ones who have to eat it. You have every right to be salty about that.

So here’s what we suggest you do to get yourself back up to the level you deserve.

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

August 30, 2023August 30, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 5 Comments

Have you ever gotten yourself all hyped-up and battle-ready to ask for more money—only to learn your employer REFUSES to negotiate salary?

This happened to me when I was a young professional. I went for a role at a company that tied its job offers to intelligence test scores. (This is not a normal or cool thing to ask, by the way. It’s elitist, ableist, racist, irrelevant, and indicative of really bad leadership. Alas that I was young, dumb, and living on breadcrumb…s.) The recruiter warned me in advance that this employer refused to negotiate salary beyond their initial offer.

Now, the joke was on them! I’m one of those people who needs to make an L-shape with her fingers to tell left from right. And once hired, I’m about as biddable as Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron. But if you put a test in front of me, I’m gonna destroy it. So by their own stupid system, they were forced to offer me an absurdly high sum. My salary doubled overnight. Although I hated that job and left after six months, it was the best job transition I’ve ever made.

All of which is to say: if a potential employer refuses to negotiate salary, it doesn’t mean that their offer is bad. Internal policies far more benign than the one I just described dictate salary offers. Some employers have a strict system for salaries based on tenure, experience, performance, or job title. Others must adhere to government guidelines or union rules regarding fair salaries.

It also doesn’t mean that the conversation is over. You can ask for so much more than money! When an employer refuses to negotiate salary, they’re giving you leverage to ask for other things. Today, I’ll give you a few ideas for creative counteroffers that will make your life better and sweeten any job transition. Even better, I’ll suggest some simple scripts you can follow to maximize your chances that they’ll say “yes.”

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

August 22, 2023November 10, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 10 Comments

“Oh god, oh god, the hiring manager just asked me about my salary requirements” is a text I’ve gotten a dozen times from friends and coworkers over the years. For a young professional, it’s usually the most fraught moment in the entire hiring process.

And for good reason! How you handle salary negotiations has enormous financial consequences. The right answer can catapult you forward… and the wrong one can set you back years.

How do you know that the number you’re asking for is within the right salary range? And how do you start off on the right foot while negotiate your starting salary? Fear not, my children, for we are here with some tips that will help you make sure you’re not selling yourself short.

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification

June 1, 2023June 4, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 10 Comments

Every year, wage theft robs millions of American workers of billions of dollars—and worker misclassification is one of its most widespread, evil forms.

There are crystal-clear guidelines on the difference between independent contractors and employees. And a lot of employers steal from their workers by ignoring them. Today, I’m going to break the differences down for you. See if you recognize yourself, a friend, or a family member in these wage-theft-vulnerable positions.

If you are in a misclassification situation, your employer has stolen your wages. But there’s good news! You have recourse to get my two favorite things: money and justice! You can seek tax reimbursements, backpay, unpaid overtime, worker’s compensation benefits, and more for the years you were misclassified. And you can report your exploitative employer and get them into a wet mess of trouble.

Not to toot my own horn, but did you notice how I managed to say “misclassification situation” and not follow it with “truly an inspiration, it’ll be a sensation, we’ll have a Dalmatian plantation?”

And did you further notice that I didn’t go on a secondary digression about how Anita from 101 Dalmatians can absolutely get it? Yeah, that’s because I’m a professional. I’m on-topic as shit. Plus, it’s not really even debatable…

If you say she's not a babe, that's some worker misclassification right there.

Note: Sorry, international readers! We’re talking exclusively about American labor law today. Go grab a non-cheeseburger food item of your choice and come back next week.

Predatory NDAs Just Got a Lot Harder To Enforce

April 5, 2023April 5, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 1 Comment

The topic of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) has been the perennial runner up in our Patreon polls for future article topics for years. They’ve been edged out at least four times by sexier, more topical topics. But today they’re finally getting their place squarely in the middle of the sunbeam that is my attention!

Much like Piggy and I, NDAs have been running amok for about thirty-five years, getting stronger and more belligerent all the time. But unlike us, it seems they’ve peaked.

Within the last six months, three major changes have drastically reduced the enforceability of predatory NDAs.

These changes provide general protection to all impacted employees, and specific protections for victims of sexual harassment. With this, it seems the power and popularity of predatory NDAs is finally waning. And workers are gaining back ground they never should’ve lost.

A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent

March 30, 2023November 10, 2023 Piggy 10 Comments

If you’ve ever applied to a job, you’ve seen it: the list of ~*fun job perks*~ at the end of a job description, meant to entice would-be employees with grand promises of free coffee in the break room and foosball tables! Who wouldn’t want a discounted monthly membership to the fancy yoga studio, or massage chairs in the lobby, or an automatic vacation day on your birthday???

ME, that’s who. I righteously spit in the face of your fun job perks! And you should too! Because no matter how much you might appreciate a monthly pizza day in the office… it’s not going to pay your rent.

I am here today to call out fun job perks for what they are: infuriatingly meaningless bribes meant to distract us from a lack of humane compensation. And I brought backup.

We asked our readers for a list of the kind of fun job perks employers offer in an attempt to attract potential employees. The kind that seem great on the surface, but are almost always offered instead of rather than in addition to higher compensation or better quality insurance. And as always, when we sent up the Bitch Signal, the citizens of Bitch Nation delivered.

When we turn on the Bitch Signal, the bitchlings come running.

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?”

January 18, 2023October 8, 2023 Piggy 3 Comments

Hello and welcome to another edition of Using Only Gifs, Let’s Get a Song Stuck In Your Head!

Just kidding. It’s actually an episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast! But while brainstorming titles for this episode, I got ABBA stuck in my head. And misery loves company, soooo…

Bitchlings, we love talking about career transitions. It’s always so magical and rewarding when it happens! My own career transition was an agonizing decision and process that actually resulted in one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. So we’re thrilled to impart some of that wisdom to our question asker this week.

Is that wisdom to in fact sing ABBA at new employers until they take a chance on you? BITCH, IT MIGHT BE. Watch the episode to find out.

Season 4, Episode 6: “I’m Not Feeling Challenged at Work Anymore. Does That Mean It’s Time To Move On?”

December 20, 2022October 8, 2023 Piggy 6 Comments

Do not adjust your speakers. This week’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast does indeed start with chicken noises and saxophone mouth sounds. And we’re not even sorry.

Today we’re discussing a very good problem to have. What do you do with yourself once you’ve successfully aced your job and you’re out of challenges at work? Do you stick around, resting on your laurels? Or will that stagnate your career progress and turn your mind slowly into mush?

Anyone who’s stuck around here for long knows our thoughts on the matter. And they’re definitely more DTMFA than have-a-nice-cold-pint-and-wait-for-this-all-to-blow-over.

Ask the Bitches: “I Took a Career Break to Care For Someone. How Do I Explain My Caregiving Resume Gap?”

August 3, 2022August 3, 2022 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 6 Comments

Recently we got a question from a reader about how to explain a caregiving resume gap. Meaning, they took significant time off from work to care for someone who was sick or disabled. And now there’s an employment gap in their job history that they worry is negatively impacting their resume.

I haven’t seen this problem addressed much on finance and career blogs. That’s surprising, considering how common it is. One in four American adults is a caregiver to someone with a long-term illness or disability. Millions of them are simultaneously working outside the home.

It’s unendurably difficult to be a full-time employee and a full-time caregiver. But the “second shift” is a reality for many people. Caregivers pay an incredible physical and mental toll to do what they feel must be done. It makes perfect sense that someone would choose to pause one to focus on the other.

But of course that doesn’t stop certain prospective employers from holding that choice against you in your job search…