Jobs & Careers Archives • Bitches Get Riches

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification

June 1, 2023June 4, 2023 Kitty 8 Comments

Every year, wage theft robs millions of American workers of billions of dollars—and worker misclassification is one of its most widespread, evil forms.

There are crystal-clear guidelines on the difference between independent contractors and employees. And a lot of employers steal from their workers by ignoring them. Today, I’m going to break the differences down for you. See if you recognize yourself, a friend, or a family member in these wage-theft-vulnerable positions.

If you are in a misclassification situation, your employer has stolen your wages. But there’s good news! You have recourse to get my two favorite things: money and justice! You can seek tax reimbursements, backpay, unpaid overtime, worker’s compensation benefits, and more for the years you were misclassified. And you can report your exploitative employer and get them into a wet mess of trouble.

Not to toot my own horn, but did you notice how I managed to say “misclassification situation” and not follow it with “truly an inspiration, it’ll be a sensation, we’ll have a Dalmatian plantation?”

And did you further notice that I didn’t go on a secondary digression about how Anita from 101 Dalmatians can absolutely get it? Yeah, that’s because I’m a professional. I’m on-topic as shit. Plus, it’s not really even debatable…

If you say she's not a babe, that's some worker misclassification right there.

Note: Sorry, international readers! We’re talking exclusively about American labor law today. Go grab a non-cheeseburger food item of your choice and come back next week.

Predatory NDAs Just Got a Lot Harder To Enforce

April 5, 2023April 5, 2023 Kitty 1 Comment

The topic of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) has been the perennial runner up in our Patreon polls for future article topics for years. They’ve been edged out at least four times by sexier, more topical topics. But today they’re finally getting their place squarely in the middle of the sunbeam that is my attention!

Much like Piggy and I, NDAs have been running amok for about thirty-five years, getting stronger and more belligerent all the time. But unlike us, it seems they’ve peaked.

Within the last six months, three major changes have drastically reduced the enforceability of predatory NDAs.

These changes provide general protection to all impacted employees, and specific protections for victims of sexual harassment. With this, it seems the power and popularity of predatory NDAs is finally waning. And workers are gaining back ground they never should’ve lost.

A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent

March 30, 2023March 30, 2023 Piggy 10 Comments

If you’ve ever applied to a job, you’ve seen it: the list of ~*fun job perks*~ at the end of a job description, meant to entice would-be employees with grand promises of free coffee in the break room and foosball tables! Who wouldn’t want a discounted monthly membership to the fancy yoga studio, or massage chairs in the lobby, or an automatic vacation day on your birthday???

ME, that’s who. I righteously spit in the face of your fun job perks! And you should too! Because no matter how much you might appreciate a monthly pizza day in the office… it’s not going to pay your rent.

I am here today to call out fun job perks for what they are: infuriatingly meaningless bribes meant to distract us from a lack of humane compensation. And I brought backup.

We asked our readers for a list of the kind of fun job perks employers offer in an attempt to attract potential employees. The kind that seem great on the surface, but are almost always offered instead of rather than in addition to higher compensation or better quality insurance. And as always, when we sent up the Bitch Signal, the citizens of Bitch Nation delivered.

When we turn on the Bitch Signal, the bitchlings come running.

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?”

January 18, 2023March 6, 2023 Piggy 3 Comments

Hello and welcome to another edition of Using Only Gifs, Let’s Get a Song Stuck In Your Head!

Just kidding. It’s actually an episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast! But while brainstorming titles for this episode, I got ABBA stuck in my head. And misery loves company, soooo…

Bitchlings, we love talking about career transitions. It’s always so magical and rewarding when it happens! My own career transition was an agonizing decision and process that actually resulted in one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. So we’re thrilled to impart some of that wisdom to our question asker this week.

Is that wisdom to in fact sing ABBA at new employers until they take a chance on you? BITCH, IT MIGHT BE. Watch the episode to find out.

Season 4, Episode 6: “I’m Not Feeling Challenged at Work Anymore. Does That Mean It’s Time To Move On?”

December 20, 2022December 20, 2022 Piggy 6 Comments

Do not adjust your speakers. This week’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast does indeed start with chicken noises and saxophone mouth sounds. And we’re not even sorry.

Today we’re discussing a very good problem to have. What do you do with yourself once you’ve successfully aced your job and you’re out of challenges at work? Do you stick around, resting on your laurels? Or will that stagnate your career progress and turn your mind slowly into mush?

Anyone who’s stuck around here for long knows our thoughts on the matter. And they’re definitely more DTMFA than have-a-nice-cold-pint-and-wait-for-this-all-to-blow-over.

Ask the Bitches: “I Took a Career Break to Care For Someone. How Do I Explain My Caregiving Resume Gap?”

August 3, 2022August 3, 2022 Kitty 6 Comments

Recently we got a question from a reader about how to explain a caregiving resume gap. Meaning, they took significant time off from work to care for someone who was sick or disabled. And now there’s an employment gap in their job history that they worry is negatively impacting their resume.

I haven’t seen this problem addressed much on finance and career blogs. That’s surprising, considering how common it is. One in four American adults is a caregiver to someone with a long-term illness or disability. Millions of them are simultaneously working outside the home.

It’s unendurably difficult to be a full-time employee and a full-time caregiver. But the “second shift” is a reality for many people. Caregivers pay an incredible physical and mental toll to do what they feel must be done. It makes perfect sense that someone would choose to pause one to focus on the other.

But of course that doesn’t stop certain prospective employers from holding that choice against you in your job search…

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Job Interview on Zoom?

April 12, 2022April 15, 2022 Piggy 12 Comments

Dear readers… we’re no Ask A Manager. We’re more like Ask A Bargain Bin Manager. Or Ask Someone Who Once Played a Manager on TV. Even Ask Ask A Manager’s Opinionated Knockoff.

But we do love getting questions we’re barely qualified to answer! Like this one, from an anonymous bitchling:

Hey Bitches! I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all the amazing advice! On another note, I have an interview coming up next week, and I’m STOKED that I’m being considered for this position. Only problem is… it’s on Zoom. How do I prepare for a job interview over video chat??? How can I stand out in comparison to other candidates, especially through a computer screen? Thanks!!
– A wild bitchling, rampant on a field of goldenrod

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

March 2, 2022March 2, 2022 Kitty 25 Comments

I awoke last night in a cold sweat, gripped with the sudden realization that I have an incredibly comprehensive resignation checklist… and I’ve been selfishly sitting on it, to the detriment of the millions of Americans who’ve walked away from their jobs in recent months.

I recognize that this constitutes a top ten anime betrayal.

許してくれ。

I'm so sorry I didn't write this resignation checklist sooner!!

The thing is… I’ve been daydreaming about leaving my job for years. These plans have been a part of me for so long that I kinda forgot they were plans at all. Like, I don’t necessarily notice my own breathing, stretching, or constructing elaborate fantasies about leaving corporate America forever.

Planning to quit ahead of time is a great advantage, and not everyone gets it. In most states, people can be fired suddenly, for no reason. Other people need to leave their job abruptly because of absolutely untenable issues like workplace safety or harassment. Those people do not have the luxury of planning a soft landing for themselves.

But if you’re planning to quit voluntarily, you can do what they cannot. You can be strategic. Y’know, like Light Yagami eating potato chips! And in doing so, you can extract a ton of value back from your employer and/or your government before you go.

I’m down to just one month at my job, and I’m systematically going through this list. It will save me thousands of dollars. It will also prevent a lot of logistical headaches for my future self. Because I wanna set her up with a low stress post-job lifestyle. Listening to the hold music for the COBRA continuation assistance hotline is not on my retirement vision board!

Here’s my ultimate resignation checklist…

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”

January 25, 2022June 16, 2022 Kitty 21 Comments

Today we’re answering a question from a Patreon donor about unvested funds.

And if you hear the phrase “unvested funds” and picture a pile of money dressed like Aladdin minus the purple vest, it’s okay! THAT IS ALSO HOW MY BRAIN BE! You are safe here.

DO YOU APPRECIATE MY VEST PUNS, CHECK YES OR NO.

Basically, Patron Leah is stuck working for an employer who’s promised her financial compensation. But later. Like, years later. And since she doesn’t like her job, she’s got to weigh whether it’s smarter to walk away now, or stick it out until she gets the money she deserves.

This is an unexpectedly tricky question. There’s a financially “right” thing to do, and an emotionally “right” thing to do—and they do not agree with each other at all. TYPICAL.

But rest assured, I’ve got strong opinions and I’m here to use ’em! So let’s get into it.

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

January 12, 2022August 2, 2022 Piggy 22 Comments

One of my favorite blogs, the ever brilliant Nonprofit As Fuck, has this great piece titled “When You Don’t Disclose Salary Range on a Job Posting, a Unicorn Loses Its Wings.” It’s a snarky, 100% accurate treatise on the evils of not including a salary range in the job description.

When I read it I felt like Bono listening to Hozier’s Take Me to Church for the first time: furiously jealous that I hadn’t written it myself.

Salary transparency in the hiring process has become my sacred battleground. Few things get this money nerd’s hackles up like the unfair, unethical, and straight up bullshit practice of salary secrecy. This righteous fury is bursting out of me and it can no longer be contained!

Because let’s be honest: no one gets a job because they’re enthusiastic about the contents of the company’s vending machine or the color of its cubicle walls. We work jobs for the compensation. We work to earn an income that will support ourselves and our families. Money, health insurance, retirement funds… all of this is far more important to a job candidate than anything else an employer has to say in the job description.

Job candidates want to know they can afford to work a job before they apply. They don’t want to wait through two interviews and a job offer to find out if the compensation will pay their rent and student loans. To pretend otherwise is ludicrous, irresponsible, naïve, and insulting.

So put a salary range in the job description, you fucking cowards.