Season 4, Episode 2: “We’re Moving in Together but Don’t Plan To Get Married. How Can We Split Finances Fairly?”

Raise your hand if you’ve ever cohabitated with a romantic partner… and you didn’t put a ring on it.

I thought so, you sinful heathens. Say ten Hail Suzes and sin no more!

Moving in with a romantic partner—or even just a friend—and splitting finances is a rite of passage. But how do you navigate that relationship with caution and respect? Is there a right way or a wrong way to split finances? And what if you [gasp!] break up?!?!?

On the podcast this week, we talk about our own experience splitting finances with each other and with romantic partners over the years as we answer a question from a listener who is moving in with their partner with no intention of getting married or combining bank accounts. Enjoy this little glimpse into Bitch history as we wax nostalgic about the days when we could share groceries… and shoes.

This week’s question

Today’s question comes to us from a friend of our beloved producer Ducky! Ducky’s friend says:

I moved in with my partner recently, after dating just a few months. We have no plans to get married or share bank accounts. How do we financially navigate being more than roommates but not quite spouses? 

– Ducky’s pal

Our answer

We have THOUGHTS and EXPERIENCE with which to answer this question. Take a listen:

This episode was brought to you by our sponsor Acorns! Acorns is for those who want to save and invest money but don’t want to think about it. It’s a micro-investing app that rounds up all your purchases to the nearest dollar and invests the difference on your behalf! Set it, forget it, collect it. Heckin’ easy and cheap.

And as always, we have our beloved Patreon donors to thank for supporting the entirety of season four. Without them, we’d literally still be recording in a couple of shweddy, dark coat closets with shitty microphones and no editing help. And I think we can all agree that nobody wants that. But if you do get some kind of sick satisfaction from stuffing us into closets and cramping our limbs, join our Patreon so you can have some say in the matter!

Episode transcript (click to reveal)

Piggy 0:00 

This episode, like all episodes, is brought to you by our beloved Patreon donors. So this week, we’d like to thank Melanie, Sabrina, and Elsa. And an extra special thanks this week to Hannah. Hannah is a successfully executed multi-factor Excel formula. 

Piggy 00:23 

[sexy voice] Hello. 

Kitty 00:24 

[sexy voice] Hi. [regular voice] Okay, so let me ask you a question. 

Piggy 00:27 

[sexy voice] Welcome to— [regular voice] oh yes, go ahead. 

Kitty 00:29 

[sexy voice] Let me ask it in my sexy voice. 

Piggy 00:31 

[sexy voice] Mmm, the sexy voice. 

Kitty 00:32 

[sexy voice] So whenever I actually listen back to our podcast, every time, I’m struck by the feeling—nay the surety— 

Piggy 00:43 

[sexy voice] The surety. 

Kitty 00:44 

[sexy voice] —that I’m capable of not sounding like a harpy made out of vocal fry. And I’m like, I often imply—I often employ this voice when I am like reading to someone. If I’m reading out loud that I’m like, I really want you to hear how beautiful it is. So modulate my voice a little bit to be more pleasing. [high pitched nasal voice] Um but then I just really excited about something and I just [incomprehensible high pitched noises]. 

Piggy 1:14 

[high pitched screeching] Listen I think intentional voice modulation is for opera singers and the Theranos girl. 

Kitty 1:22 

I was about to say…! 

Kitty & Piggy 1:24 

[laughter] 

Kitty 1:25 

Or as I keep calling her in my household, Elizabeth Theranos. 

Piggy 1:30 

[imitating Elizabeth Holmes] We are not Elizabeth Holmes so we’re not going to talk like this for the— 

Kitty 1:38 

[imitating Elizabeth Holmes] But here’s a challenging question, why aren’t we? 

Piggy 1:42 

[imitating Elizabeth Holmes] Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I have a world-changing idea. 

Kitty 1:47 

[imitating Elizabeth Holmes] That is insane, that your name is Elizabeth, because my name also is Elizabeth. 

Piggy 1:53 

[imitating Elizabeth Holmes] Whaaat. You should be played by Amanda Seyfried in a movie or something. 

Kitty 1:59 

Amanda Seyfried is like— 

Piggy 2:01 

She’s so precious. She’s the cutest. 

Kitty 2:03 

She is like my celebrity crush. 

Piggy 2:05 

Well, she looks just like you, so. 

Kitty 2:09 

Are you coming on to me? That’s such a compliment, I do not look like Amanda Seyfried at all. 

Piggy 2:12 

When am I not coming on to you? You do, you do. 

Kitty 2:15 

Right now, people who are only listening to the podcast are immediately going to check out our YouTube to see and they’re going to be so disappointed. 

Piggy 2:21 

And they’re going to say I’m right. 

Kitty 2:24 

No, they are—no. 

Theme Song 2:25 
 

If you need some dough 
You don’t know where to go 
In this patriarchal capitalist hellscape 
 
Well here’s the ‘sitch 
We’re gonna help you, sis 
Because bitches get riches 
 
Bitches get riches 
Bitches get riches 
Bitches get riches 
And so can you 

Piggy 2:52 

[burps] Excuse me. I am not sorry. I’m Piggy. 

Kitty 2:58 

And I’m Kitty. 

 
Piggy 2:59 

We’re the bitches in Bitches Get Riches. 

Kitty 3:02 

We’re a couple of Spaniards on a mission of revenge. 

Piggy 3:05 

And we want our father back, you son of a bish! 

Kitty 3:08 

Our time on this planet is limited. 

 
Piggy 3:10 

So let’s get started. 

Kitty 3:12 

Okay. Today’s letter comes to us from a friend of Ducky’s. Ducky is our amazing producer, shout out to Ducky. We fucking love you. 

Piggy 3:18 

Hey Ducky! Thank you, never leave us. 

Kitty 3:21 

Okay, so Ducky’s friend asks, I moved in with my partner recently after dating for just a few months. We have no plans to get married or share bank accounts. How do we financially navigate being more than roommates but not quite spouses? 

Piggy 3:39 

I love this question. I feel like we have become sort of secret experts on the sharing of finances among people who are not necessarily a romantic partner. In this economy— 

Kitty 3:52 

Or not formally, like not married. 

Piggy 3:55 

Right, right. Non-married folk. And mostly that’s because we recognize the difficulties of getting by on one income in this capitalist hellscape in which we live. The rent is too damn high. 

Kitty 4:08 

Wait, that’s hard? 

Piggy 4:09 
Yeah. Believe it or not. 

Kitty 4:11 

I’m just swimming around in my swimming pool filled with $500 bills, they make those, right? 

Piggy 4:17 

They sure do. And I would know because— 

Kitty 4:19 

They make them for me, I just go to the printer and I ask. 

Piggy 4:22 

You have them specially minted? Love it, love it. 

Kitty 4:24 

I do. And they give me mints. 

Piggy 4:27 

And they give you mints, at the mint. 

Kitty 4:28 

Yeah, Andes mints. They’re very, very, very classy. 

Piggy 4:32 

Wait, you and I shared finances for quite some time when we were college roommates. 

Kitty 4:35 

Yes, we were roomies. 

Piggy 4:37 

Roomie roomies! And I think that— 

Kitty 4:40 

Roomies with benefits, ahaha, and the benefits are financial. 

Piggy 4:45 

The benefits are we had the same size feet so we could share shoes. 

Kitty 4:50 

My god, I miss it so much. 

Piggy 4:52 

Right?! 

Kitty 4:52 

I don’t have any other friends who are straddling the 7 1/2 to 8 size and I am so bereft. 

Piggy 5:02 

I am bereft as well. And it really is a shame. And honestly when I moved out of our college apartment, like the first time I had to dress up for something, I went in my closet and was like, wait, where are all my high heels? And then I was like, oh right, I don’t own any high heels. My point being, when we lived together and we shared finances, a lot of it was based on a mutual respect. And I think that that’s essential in any roommate relationship, but especially in a romantic relationship. [rolling her R’s] In romance— 

Kitty 5:31 

[rolling her R’s] Romance. 

Piggy 5:32 

[rolling her R’s] Romance. You don’t want to disrespect your partner by condescending to them or patronizing to them. Or valuing their contribution to the household less. 

Kitty 5:41 

Or mooching. 

Piggy 5:43 

Or mooching. 

Kitty 5:44 

No moochie. 

Piggy 5:45 

One of the seven deadly sins— 

Kitty 5:46 

No moochie if you want the coochie! TM! TM! 

Piggy 5:48 

Oooh! 

Kitty 5:49 

Copyright, I copyrighted it! 

Piggy 5:51 

Bitchesgetriches.com: No moochie if you want the coochie. Yes, that is our new tagline. 

Kitty & Piggy 5:56 

[laughter] 

Piggy 5:59 

Like when we lived together, you had a higher-paying job than me and you therefore bought all of our groceries and I loved our little trips to Trader Joe’s together. In return, I kind of just quietly did all the dishes ‘cause I was afraid you’d notice you were spending money, all the grocery money, and that way like, that was my way of being like, I appreciate you but I also cannot afford to pay for food. 

Kitty 6:27 

Okay so your memory is faulty. 

Piggy 6:29 

Oh! Is it? 

Kitty 6:29 

Because this was something we discussed. 

Piggy 6:32 

Oh, we discussed it? 

Kitty 6:32 

This was 100% our arrangement because you came to me one day and told me that you felt guilty— 

Piggy 6:37 

That I cannot afford food. 

Kitty 6:39 

—over the fact that the majority of the food that was being purchased was coming from me and I was like, do you see how there’s no dishes in the sink? Do you think I am the cause of there being no dishes in the sink? And you were like, no, I know that I am the dish-doer. 

Piggy 6:55 

I did the dishes. 

Kitty 6:56 

And I was like, exactly. This is perfect for me. And this has never changed about me. I feel like everyone has some household task that they hate above all others. For me, it has always been the dishes. I married a beautiful man with very wide set eyes— 

Piggy 7:15 

Shark. 

Kitty 7:15 

—who does all of the dishes and I could not be any happier. He’s the perfect spouse. 

Piggy 7:22 

Cool. Well, thank you for making me more noble in reality than I was in my memory. I thought I was getting away with something. 

Kitty 7:29 

It’s not that you’re noble, it’s that you’re incapable of carrying an emotional burden without at some point, heaving it up. 

I think this is a nice kind of allusion to one of the ways in which you can divide things, which is non-monetary. So there’s ways that you can divide things monetarily, and I think the major ways to do that are do everything 50-50, completely equal, or you do it adjusted based on income. If one of you earns $100,000 a year and one of you earns $50,000 a year. Yeah, I think that’s pretty icky, maybe. That would not make me feel great, if I was asking my partner to pay the same amount when I knew that that money was more precious to them. 

Piggy 8:20 

Yeah, exactly. 

Kitty 8:20 

So there’s different ways that you can do that, but then there’s also non-monetary ways that you can negotiate between each other. Who’s cleaning, who’s cooking, and are those worth something to you? And I think it’s really important in both—in a roommate relationship, which is true for whether the partnership is fundamentally a romantic or non-romantic one. In a roommate relationship it is really, really important to talk all of the time. So, as long as we have been married, still within the last month, we have had a discussion about chores and like formally splitting up, like hey I’ve noticed that like since I retired, that has changed my daily schedule. It’s giving me a lot more time back to do things like running errands and I’m like, it’s silly for you to go to the post office. Like just give me something and I will take it there. I have the free time. You do not. So it’s a constant revaluation, and as your levels of stress change, as your job changes, as you pick up new hobbies that adjust your schedule and your energy level— 

Piggy 9:29 

As your health changes. Yeah. 

Kitty 9:31 

Yes! Absolutely. Like constantly be re-evaluating and open to saying like, hey here’s what I’m willing to do, here’s what I would love to not have to do, and like let’s negotiate. And that I think is more so even than splitting finances, is going to be the major thing that you run into. 

Piggy 9:50 

A hundred percent. Constantly check in with each other. And the other thing too is, there’s no—you don’t have to stick to a strategy. Like you don’t have to say like, okay everything is split 50-50, you can say like, alright well we have cable because you want to watch your sports ball on the thing—which, humble brag, I finally convinced Bear that we don’t need a television package anymore. So we cut the cable, it is now only streaming services. And I thank the NFL for making the Patriots available online for saving us that money. Anyway. 

Kitty 10:31 

I love it, he’s moved from an honorary baby boomer all the way down into at least an old millennial now. That’s incredible, good for him. 

Piggy 10:40 

Oh yeah, exactly. When we had cable, I was like, I’m not paying for this. Like I don’t use this. And I was much more, again, respectful and gentle and diplomatic about it, but we agreed like that was something that was on him and he would pay for it. And that was fine. 

Kitty 10:56 

I think it’s kind of important to mention that there’s nothing wrong with having the breakdown end up feeling a little bit lopsided. Like it’s okay if one person is paying most of the bills and another person is doing most of the cleaning. I think, especially, we don’t know any of the genders of the folks involved, but I’ll say in romantic relationships, I think sometimes I have felt in the past, some sensitivity as a woman, about like— 

Piggy 11:33 

As a woman. 

Kitty 11:37 

I feel an extra layer of resentment if I am, for example, cleaning up after messy roommates who are mostly men. I’m like, it’s not that you are messy because you’re men, but am I cleaning because I’m a woman? 

Piggy 11:52 

Yes, absolutely. 

Kitty 11:53 

And it feels really bad. So, like, you know, I think there’s a lot of emotional stuff that can come up when you’re breaking down things. 

Piggy 12:04 

And it’s just important to be sensitive to that emotional baggage and those gender roles, especially if you’re an opposite gender couple. 

Kitty 12:11 

You have to come up with something that works for you as a couple, and you have to constantly renegotiate it. 

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Piggy 12:17 

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Kitty 12:24 

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Piggy 12:32 

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Kitty 12:44 

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Piggy 12:49 

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Kitty 12:51 

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End of Sponsored Content 12:52 

Kitty 12:52 

So the question asker wanted to know about some of the financial aspects of how to split things up. And I think there’s fundamentally like three different ways that you can split finances with someone that you live with, whether that’s a romantic partner or otherwise. The first is to do everything 50-50. Our rent is 2 grand a month, you pay a grand, I pay a grand. Boom, done. Very simple. And I think that this is often the best model for roommates who aren’t friends, aren’t like, you know, not romantic partners. I think that can work really well. 

Piggy 13:28 

Happy co-habitators. 

Kitty 13:30 

Yeah. The second one, I think, is dividing things up based on income. This, I think, is a lot more common in romantic relationships or maybe like roommates who happen to be deep and long-term friends with each other. It comes from a real respect. 

Piggy 13:45 

Or if there’s a noticeable difference in bedrooms among roommates 

Kitty 13:52 

Hey, don’t steal my number 3! You’re stealing my number 3. 

Piggy 13:54 

Sorry, sorry! 

Kitty 13:56 

Shut it down. Sit in your corner. I love you. 

Piggy 13:59 

I am in a corner, I love it. 

Kitty 14:01 

So if you split up according to how much money everyone is making, if one of you is making 25 grand a year, and the other one is making 100 grand a year, it does not feel very cool to say cool, let’s split everything 50-50. Like that’s not right. So with couples like that, especially where there’s a big income disparity, I often see them deciding to split things up based on like, well I make 4 times the amount of money that you do, so I should pay 4 times the amount of rent, utilities, things like that. Which you know, some people love that, some people hate it. It really comes down to the person. The third one is kinda based on usage. So this I’ve done more with roommates where like one bedroom was like big and square and another bedroom is like L shaped and cramped and kind of awful. It’s like, well yeah, we’re both in a two-bedroom. But if we place these rooms on the open market, could we expect someone to want to pay 700 for this room and 700 for this room? Like, no. We would more be looking at maybe 800 and 600. So that’s what we end up doing. You can do that too with utilities, if one person needs a faster internet connection, or if they want a special like live TV package or something, or if they’re coming in with a bajillion streaming passwords, like great, you can renegotiate that. You and I negotiated with food as well. So there’s always that option to scale based on usage. I also see that a lot in relationships where, if one person has dietary stuff, special dietary stuff where, maybe if you have a diet that is kind of more expensive to work around, then I know adjusting in that way is pretty popular. So I think those are kind of the three most basic ways to divide finances. 

Piggy 15:59 

So there’s always a fourth way, and it’s to not divide finances. Yeah, it’s to essentially combine finances and join those accounts and get it all set with the bank. And I would really caution people from doing that in a situation where you are not immediate legal family. I think that there is a lot of hassle and complication with combining finances, especially if it’s not a guaranteed long-term, cohabitation situation. That’s a huge decision to combine those finances and I know a lot of people who have really regretted that decision and not just because they got divorced or broke up eventually. So I would say like, if you’re making this decision err on the side of not combining those things unless and until you know that you have some legal protections in place for long-term combining your life in other ways. 

Kitty 17:02 

So we have a pretty recent article that talks about different ways to do this. It is called “A Guide to Sharing Finances with Someone Other Than a Romantic Partner.” It’s inclusive of—it involves strategies that you could also employ with a romantic partner, especially maybe, like a newer relationship where you’re not a hundred percent ready to go all-in together financially. I will say there’s a lot that you can do without combining finances fully that is still on the table. So, for example, Ducky’s friend mentions that they don’t want to merge their finances. But did you know, you can open a shared bank account without being married? 

Piggy 17:46 

So another aspect of sharing finances or navigating finances when you are cohabitating with somebody who is not a spouse is what do you do about the stuff? So I mean— 

Kitty 17:59 

The stuff. 

Piggy 18:00 

The stuff. 

Kitty 18:01 
The junk. 

Piggy 18:02 

The junk. You know, who buys the couch, and who takes the couch when you guys move out from being together, from living together. Who buys the kitchen table, who buys the sheets, etc. And I think that there’s not necessarily a one-to-one like, I bought it, I take it with me calculation. Like that can be your calculation, and that’s totally fine. But, you know, it could also be like, well, I brought X in and you brought Y in and then we bought Z together. So, if we break up, or if we stop cohabitating, let’s sell Z and divide the profits among ourselves. Like, the profits, yeah. There’s a number of ways to do that. I think again, the whole crux of this answer is communication and respect and you need to approach the question with your roommate, spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, non-binary partner, with a level of respect and care that you would expect to receive from them in the communication. So like don’t assume that they are thinking the same thing, don’t assume that they are deliberately being controlling or bitter or unfair about something, like just talk about it. 

Kitty 19:28 

Yeah, I think the major advantage of living with someone before you choose to get legally tied to each other is that you have the advantage to test the waters when it comes to sharing. 

Piggy 19:44 

Try ‘em out! It’s a trial run for a more permanent union. 

Kitty 19:48 

You go out to dinner with your pals and you notice there’s that one pal who’s, like, never really coming through for you the way that you’ve come through for them. You probably don’t choose to become a roommate with them, and that’s very smart. When you are dating someone, you are constantly testing that person to see like can we work through a conflict, can we communicate, can we be forthcoming about our values and what’s important to us? You’re always testing that. And ideally the stakes will rise slowly over time, so that by the time you’re getting to things that are really high stakes, like having children, things like that, you have already figured out how to navigate a lot of those things on a smaller scale. So I encourage you to think about it this way, when you’re moving in with a romantic partner. Let’s say that you move in together and you both go in 50-50 on first month, last month, and security deposit. Let’s say you do that. And then over time you realize like, ooh this is not the person for me. I should not be with this person. I’m going to end this and we’re going to move out. 

Piggy 21:01 

They eat crackers in bed and there’s crumbs everywhere. 

Kitty 21:03 

They’re bad people. If you get to the point where you’re ready to end things with that person and you’re ready to move out and you run into a lot of issues with them giving you back the portion of the money that you put in, ‘cause maybe the check went to them and you’re like, alright I need half of the last month and half of the security deposit back. 

Piggy 21:22 

Pay up, bitch. 

Kitty 21:26 

It’s entirely possible that you will never see that money again. And in that case, I want you to always be able to say that was money well spent. To say I lost this money but what I gained was the knowledge that this person could not be trusted to be respectful of me, that they were poor with conflict management. Like there’s so many lessons that I would pay a lot of money to learn about someone upfront. 

Piggy 21:58 

It’s the break up tax. 

Kitty 22:00 

Yeah. So don’t like, jump into buying a house 50-50 and just like hope and pray that things are going to work out. Like use this cohabitation time as a time to see is this person responsible with their money? Are they communicative? Are they willing to work with me with conflict resolution and are they respectful? 

Piggy 22:19 

I feel like that’s a good litmus test. Like, if you guys have a conversation respectfully, as we have discussed, and you decide on how you’re going to split your finances in an equitable fashion that everyone agrees on, and then they slowly start going back on that deal, or they immediately, like, disrespect parameters and start, you know, spending your money willy-nilly or not sharing or otherwise taking advantage of you. Like, that’s a good sign to you of like, oh, maybe this relationship should not progress. Maybe the way that they are treating my money is indicative of the way that they feel about me and I should excise them from my life. I should cut them from my life. 

Kitty 23:05 

Cut them. One of the ways in which you and I were really successful as roommates, who are also friends, and now are like business partners and a bunch of random other things— 

Piggy 23:13 

[sing-song] Work wiiiives! 

Kitty 23:14 

—is that we have very clear conversations about like, hey can roommate Lauren talk to roommate Jess for just a hot second? And that like made it really clear that like, whatever I’m going to say to you— 

Piggy 23:29 

Completely changes the vibe. 

Kitty 23:30 

—it’s not about like, who you are as a person. I just super need you to put the toilet paper so that it comes over the front instead of dangling out from the bottom, please. I think it’s a great suggestion to have regular, if not meetings or discussions, like they don’t have to be formal, but I actually think, at the beginning especially, formal is really good. And so, have you ever heard of the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse? 

Piggy 24:01 

Uh no? Please enlighten me. I love a biblical reference. 

Kitty 24:03 

So it’s a relationship model, thinking about the four things that are most likely to lead to the end of a relationship. And those four things are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. 

Piggy 24:23 

Oooh. 

Kitty 24:24 

And I think out of all of those, for me, the most critical one is contempt. Once you feel contempt for someone, it is really, really, really hard to come back from that and get back to the opposite, which is respecting them. I think, especially for our younger listeners, who maybe are moving in with a significant other for the first time or the second time, it may be a period of growth for you to come in to a new level of comfort with embracing conflict and trying to seek a healthy resolution rather than kind of bottling it up. I think, you know, you and I had lived with other people where we knew we were going to be living together for one school year, and that we would then likely never see that person again. And it made it a lot easier to just say— 

Piggy 25:15 

There’s a lot you can withstand for two semesters. 

Kitty 25:19 

A hundred percent. Like we could just say, like, oh my god the fact that she does this drives me nuts, but I’m not going to say anything because we’ve just got four more months to go and I can live with it for four more months. 

Piggy 25:29 

Do you remember the girl who blew her nose in the sink? 

Kitty 25:32 

Stop! 

Piggy 25:35 

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. 

Kitty 25:36 

You know that I deliberately buried that memory. 

Piggy 25:39 

Expunged that from your brain. 

Kitty & Piggy 25:42 

[deep sigh] God. 

Kitty 25:43 

I’m really—I’m so upset with you for reviving this memory that I had intentionally buried. But yes, I do remember that and yes, it was fucking awful. Like, if that person was someone who I was madly in love with and this is the only thing that they did. I would have a conversation with them about it where I would say do not ever fucking do that, you disgusting piece of sh—healthy relationships! 

Piggy 26:08 

Violence is the answer. 

Kitty 26:09 

It’s worth it. It’s worth it to have that conversation. So you may be coming at this from a perspective of someone who had really smart, strategic reasons for not pursuing conflict. That’s changing, baby. Like this all different. Now that you are living with someone, you have a chance to possibly be living with this person for forever. So if you do that, like eventually that contempt is going to rise up, and that is not good. It’s so, so nearly impossible to recover from. 

Piggy 26:43 

It’s bad news bears. 

Kitty 26:45 

So yeah, I think having those conversations early, often, articulating your needs, thinking about what’s worth pursuing and what’s worth just like letting go of. I think those are all really valuable and the money I think is actually the easiest part. 

Piggy 27:01 

Yeah. The money—if you figure out the relationship bit, you get the respect and communication down, the money will follow. Really like, I would hate to see—and it happens all the time—but I would hate to see a good relationship fall apart because of money issues. And I know that that’s like statistically speaking one of the leading causes of divorce, and again that makes me so sad because if you figure out how to communicate honestly and respectfully and, you know, avoid the four horsemen of the end of a relationship apparently, the money is easy to figure it out. You’ll get it it done. You’ll be fine. 

Kitty 27:37 

Fundamentally, I think there are three things that make for a fantastic romantic partner. Are they a good friend? Are they a good roommate? And are they a good lover? And for everyone and every relationship, the importance of those individual things may be different. For some it is really, really, really important that like good lover, that’s like the number one, but they’re super chill and they’re like, I don’t super care what you’re like as a roommate, as long as like, you know, you’re hitting a bare minimum, I’m good. So having that kind of discussion about like, what is most important to you in the relationship? What aspects of your relationship are most important? My partner and I have discussed that the order is, for us, that we have to be great friends. And then we have to be great roommates. And then we have to be great lovers because fundamentally the most important things to us are being each other’s best friend. And if a situation happened where we lived apart or maybe one of us had some horrible medical condition or accident where sex is totally off the table for us, we could still have an incredibly fulfilling and very romantic relationship for the rest of our lives if the only thing we were to each other was each other’s best friends. 

Piggy 29:00 

Totally. 

Kitty 29:00 

So kind of understanding what the priorities are in your relationship are really important. So and like living together is what’s going to let you build an understanding of what each of you want out of life and out of each other as partners. So you just got to roll with it. 

 
Piggy 29:18 

Fucking roll with it. Are you good with that? 

Kitty 29:21 

I am good with that. 

Kitty 29:25 

Listeners, if you want us to answer your question, go to BitchesGetRiches.com and click “Ask the Bitches.” Our goal here at Bitches Get Riches is to help people, but we want to make a living wage for ourselves and our assistant doing so without being like a total piece of shit sellout. So if you believe in that mission and you want to help us achieve it, the easiest way to do that is to go to patreon.com/bitchesgetriches. We also accept one time donations through paypal.com/paypalme/bitchesgetriches. And if you need more of our spicy, spicy wisdom, you can read our articles and follow us on social media, and you can do all that stuff at BitchesGetRiches.com. 

Kitty 30:03 

Hey, is there anything else they should know? 

 
Piggy 30:06 

Yes. Okay, so I had Covid several weeks ago, and in my fevered delirium I thought it would be a really good idea to take all of the books off of my bookshelves and rearrange them by color. And I was like covered in fevered flop sweat by the end of this because books became so heavy because I had Covid and I was very sick. And I finished it, and then I stood back and I looked, and it looked fucking terrible. 

Kitty 30:33 

Got it, so what you’re saying is everyone should arrange books by color, all the time, preferably with a fever-addled mind. 

Piggy 30:43 

That is abs— 

Kitty 30:43 

Good to know. 

Piggy 30:44 

[deep sigh] 

 
Kitty & Piggy 30:46 

Bitches out. 

Kitty 30:47 

I’m leaving. 

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