Friends, we’ve written a lot about consumerism and buying stuff recently. From our five secrets of secondhand shopping to our epic grocery store price comparison investigation… we’ve really belabored the subject.
And who could blame us? With inflation, price-gouging, planned obsolescence, and tariffs making everything from basic necessities to tech more expensive, shopping has been a huge part of our personal finance calculations recently.
But we need to move on. The people demand a robust and variegated content schedule from your humble Bitches! So here is the master list of everything we’ve written on how to buy stuff—frugally, ethically, and with more sense than god gave a grapefruit.
More than a few readers have asked us a variation of this question: “why save for retirement when the world is on fire?” In fact, they’ve asked often enough that we decided to dust off the ol’ podcast and address the doomerism head-on.
We try to keep things light around here. Or rather, we try to lighten up the dark times with a liberal application of 90s pop culture gifs and dick jokes.* For the most part, we’re successful! If we can give you a sensible chuckle or a hearty snort-laugh while you’re reading about the racism and classism inherent in the credit scoring industry, then we consider it a job well done.
But there’s no denying that right now… shit’s bleak.
A handful of our followers have therefore asked us some variation on a concerning theme: If everything’s going to hell in a hand basket, why should I even bother saving for a future retirement that won’t exist?
Like I said: bleak.
We’re happy to have an opportunity to show off our rarely-glimpsed optimistic sides. These times are unprecedented—but they’re also super precedented. History is brimming with excellent guides for surviving turbulent times, and we can learn from them how to brace ourselves and protect what’s important. It’s a conversation worth tuning in for, even if you’re feeling more hopeful about the future.
*Bitches Get Riches: It’s not just dick jokes about money… it’s also money jokes about dicks!
And while much of our advice on ethical consumption still holds true, today I’m going to be revisiting that advice. My goal is to shine a light on how we should all approach shopping during The Stupidest Trade War while still maintaining our morals and savings rates.
We really know how to have fun here, don’t we?
Let’s kick things off with a question from a follower called Blossom:
Hi Auntie Bitches! I have a question regarding an impasse of ethics and finances, so of course I figured you’d be the experts!
I live in the USA, and absolutely hate the direction things are headed in. I’m inspired by hearing that Canada and a ton of countries in Europe are boycotting absolutely everything American made. This is genius because the only way to hurt the greedy pricks at the top is to hurt their bottom lines.
I really want to join in and buy as few goods that are made in the states as possible. However, I also live here and my household budget is already pretty tight. With this ridiculous trade war going on, imported goods will become even more costly.
I’m stuck between a possibly unlivable budget if fully switching to goods that aren’t made here; or being a tad more financially sound but forced to feed the fascism machine by using American goods.
Please, I’d love some advice on how to navigate this?
– Blossom, alert citizen of Bitch Nation
Blossom is clearly paying attention. We couldn’t be more proud of them for considering activism in the face of personal hardship. We should all be more like Blossom.
But I think there’s a fundamental flaw in how they’re approaching the problem. Nevertheless, I think we can come to a solution that does the least amount of harm to Blossom’s bottom line… while still supporting the changes they want to see. Let’s unpack that!
Back when I lived in a hippie commune with approximately 9 humans and 37 dogs, I biked to the library on a regular basis. It was an easy way to keep myself in reading material without spending all of my meager paycheck on books.
As I was leaving one day, I asked one of my roommates if she wanted me to pick up anything at the library for her. Her response: “Is it free?”
Is it free? Is it free?
Let’s pretend for a minute that it’s not completely weird and unbelievable that an adult human being could grow up in LeVar Burton’s United States of America without ever having learned the first thing (literally, the very first thing) about the public library. Let’s also set aside the fact that this particular person was an English major! I’ll just state, definitively and for the record:
Yes, the library is free, you darling fool. But it might not be for much longer. Let’s get into it.
Yet that was the quote they gave me when I took my 10-year-old Volkswagen Golf to the dealership for service. Along with another $4,824.56 in repairs of varying urgency. I met this estimate with cool and queenly disdain, declined the repairs, and left with an oil change on the house. (They knew what they did)
Because I know I can get my car repaired for cheaper! Like… way cheaper! All it requires is a little time, elbow grease, and good sense.
What some dealerships and mechanics charge for car repairs is, frankly, obscene. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Today I’m going to talk about my recent experience with the service department of a car dealership and explain, step by step, how I went on to pay significantly less for car repairs outside the dealership… and how you can too.
Gird you loins, people. It’s about to get reeeeeeal fuckin’ spiteful up in here.
It’s that time again! The Ides of April approacheth. Time to pay the piper, render under Caesar what is Caesar’s, and pay your dues, for there is nothing sure in the world save death and our topic for the day.
Yes, that’s right: It’s officially tax season yet again. RUDE.
Over the years we’ve covered many aspects of taxes—from how to file them for free to what to do if you fuck ’em up. So today I’m gathering all our scintillating tax season advice together in one place. For no matter how little money you make, nor how full of moths your wallet, the tax man comes for us all.
How many vacation days did you take this year? How many does your employer allow you to take? Did you work through illness and burnout because you didn’t have enough paid time off to rest and recuperate? Did you skip meaningful events with your family? When was the last time you took an actual vacation from your job?
Today we’re talking about vacation time, or paid time off (PTO). It’s the bitter controversy that launched a thousand memes about the difference between Europe and the United States.
In the past, I’ve worked for employers that offered anywhere from 6 to 10 vacation days per year. I’ve worked for companies that allow you to take comp time (i.e., if you work on a weekend day, you may add that day to your total PTO). Currently, I work for a company that “doesn’t have a vacation policy.” Other employers call this “unlimited PTO.” In practice, this means that I can take as many days off as I see fit, so long as I get my work done.
With that generous vacation time policy, you might be wondering how much time I took off this year. Welp…
I took 8 fucking work weeks of vacation time this year. That’s 40 whole days.
And I feel absolutely no remorse. In fact, I feel giddy. I feel like celebrating! Let’s unpack that!
Well here we are, fam. The 2024 presidential election has happened and the outcome was notgreat.
We took some time to be angry. To be scared. To grieve. We checked in on our community and practiced some highly necessary self-care. Then we spent several cathartic hours scrolling through r/LeopardsAteMyFace. We hope you did too.
Now we’re ready for the next step. For we have chosen to stay and fight. Part of that means embracing our calling as your beloved yet humble Bitches—your opinionated internet aunties—by sharing ideas on how we can prepare to weather the coming storm.
It might not be much of a storm! Could be anywhere from a little light rain to a Category 5 hurricane. But it’s our belief that you should prepare for the worst in such a way that even in the best case scenario, you’ll still end up better off.
This guide includes some instructions specific to a second Trump administration (three words I gag even writing). But some of it is just good practice no matter what happens.
What are we preparing for?
The Trump administration—including his billionaire buddies, cartoonishly villainous advisors, and all the grifters and sycophants in between—has all kinds of goals. Part of this plan is Project 2025, a policy wishlist funded by the Heritage Foundation and written by 140 former (and in some cases, future) Trump staffers (among others). Think of the Heritage Foundation as a real-life, conservative “deep state” with even deeper pockets, helmed by all the extremist nutjobs driving the Right Wing’s most regressive ideas since the Reagan administration.
There’s a lot of cooks in this oppressive kitchen. So for the purposes of this guide, we’re going to use “Project 2025” as an umbrella term for the policy agenda of the Trump administration and broader conservative party.
Change will not come at a consistent pace. We won’t enter The Darkest Timeline overnight, or maybe even at all! And there’s not even a guarantee that all the worst aspects of Project 2025 will come to pass. With any luck, this corrupt administration of toadies, conspiracy theorists, and inept, entitled conmen will get in its own way enough that they make zero progress towards their nightmarish goals!
But we can’t bank on that. Which is why we recommend the following steps before they start checking off items on the Project 2025 to-do list. Shoot for the moon of Suckitude! Even if we don’t reach it, you’ll land lightly among the stars of Things Are Slightly Worse Now.
Tradwives. Who are they? Where did they come from? What do they want?
To answer these questions and more, we’re going to dive deep into the bowels of anti-feminist history. Starting with a woman named Phyllis Schlafly.
She was the absolute fucking worst.
Schlafly dedicated her entire life and career to thwarting the causes of feminism. She advocated for women to give up careers and their places in society in favor of staying home, having babies, and nurturing their husbands and homes. She successfully campaigned against the Equal Rights Amendment (which is still not ratified as the law of the land to this day), headed a grassroots movement to convince women that equal rights were not only unattainable but undesirable, stood firmly against gay rights, and loved the idea of a white supremacist theocracy even more than she loved the sound of her own goddamn voice. Schlafly was staunchly anti-abortion, anti-contraception, anti-divorce, and anti-fun in all its forms.
But the infuriating legacy of Schlafly lives on. For while she was yammering on about uppity women knowing their place, this anti-feminist Babadook was decidedly not in her supposed place.
(Actually, this is an insult to the Babadook, who The Kids™ tell me is a bisexual icon and therefore someone to be celebrated and not denigrated. My apologies, dear sweet Babadook. It won’t happen again.)
Now, I don’t say this lightly, but… this book is giving me hope.
Green Money “shares a vision of how you can break free from outdated financial advice and live a fulfilling life that values community, sustainability, and financial well-being. Filled with real-world anecdotes, cutting-edge research, and hands-on money exercises, this book equips you with the tools needed to take immediate action towards a brighter, greener future.” Essentially, this is your guide to putting your money where your climate is—making financial choices to support a greener, more environmentally sustainable future.
For those of you squinting skeptically right now, I know what you’re thinking. But this is not another well-meaning finance guru offering individual solutions to systemic problems. Rather, Kara approaches the topic with the spirit of a community organizer and activist. Green Money is about our collective influence as much as it is our individual hopes for the future. It’s as optimistic and creative as it is ready to win this fight.
And I don’t know about you, but I will be putting on my thrifted boots and following this movement (via public transit) all the way!
