Who Are the Bitches?

Think of Bitches Get Riches as a beautiful test tube baby. The ovum was harvested from the life experience of two optimistic, financially solvent, twenty-something feminist killjoys. The sperm was the writhing mass of bullshit shot straight out of the blighted ball sack that was the Great Recession. Though not our first choice of donor, we are raising this baby with all the dedication and ferocity of Lisa Banes’s character in the classic Lifetime thriller Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

The global financial recession of 2008 put a lot of people at a terrible economic disadvantage, but few worse than Millennials. We felt the brunt of the unemployment crisis more keenly than any other demographic and were forced to search longer and compete harder for the opportunities we needed to thrive.

In addition to the curses of high unemployment and stagnated wages, the recession cripplingly invalidated much of the financial wisdom that worked for our parents and grandparents. The most basic and accepted truisms of consumer finance were called into question, and even financial gurus who seemed to grasp the change still assumed a level of income and opportunity at odds with Millennials’ reality. Financial advice from older generations magically became bullshit—not intentional bullshit, just out-of-date, irrelevant, optimistic bullshit. And while this garbage advice was handed down with the best intentions, it created a paradox where you-don’t-know-what-you-don’t-know met advice for starting in the middle, rather than at the beginning. So we’re going to politely ignore our elders. They got theirs. Now it’s our turn.

Piggy and Kitty (the Bitches of Bitches Get Riches) graduated from the same college in the spring of 2009. Useless degrees in hand, burdensome student loans on our backs, and facing a grim America with an unemployment rate hovering near ten percent, we set off in opposite directions across the country to seek our fortunes.

Through trial and error, we found new bits of wisdom and guidance for a world entirely different from the one we were told to expect. We scrimped, shoved, and stumbled our way into prosperity. We both managed to find jobs, find better jobs, eliminate our student loan debts, get hitched on shoestring budgets, buy modest homes, and begin the face-numbingly awesome trek toward early retirement.

The mission of Bitches Get Riches is simple: to share new advice for a changed world.

We have mapped a course to relative safety and now we want to share that map with you, our peers. Our credentials? We have none. We’re not accountants, economists, or realtors. We don’t work in the financial industry. Neither of us took a college math class, let alone majored in finance. We’re not experts and we don’t pretend to be. We have some stuff figured out—but not all. We feel strongly that sharing our map is the right thing to do. If other explorers can use it to find even a single foothold, it’ll be worth it.

What makes this blog special is that we are not special. Our household incomes started below average. Our student loan debts started above average. We didn’t have assistance from our parents or wealthy spouses. We don’t have the patience for complicated, exotic “wealth management solutions.” We don’t have all the answers, and we won’t ever pretend we do. We’re here to offer our wisdom—imperfect and incomplete as it is—to those who’ve been shut out, laughed at, and left behind.

We reject the idea that financial advice is a luxury good as tailored for old white men as velvet waistcoats and gilded monocle chains. We reject the idea that money is a private, complex, dry, masculine topic. We’re going to cram each and every article so full of RuPaul gifs you’ll be gagging on our fiduciary eleganza. We hope to always keep you, our darling readers, as informed, empowered, and entertained as we know how.

We are the Bitches. And you can be a Bitch too. No matter where you are in your ~*financial journey*~ we think you can still find something to learn. We’ve tagged a few articles as great places to start.

Follow us on Twitter @BitchesGetRich, or on Tumblr at BitchesGetRiches.tumblr.com!

bitchesgetstuffdone