The Colosseum teems with unruly members of the plebeian class. As the sun beats down upon their heads, a riotous energy gathers and surges through the gathered masses. “Masterposts, masterposts, masterposts,” they begin to chant in unison.

The charioteer’s horses stamp their feet in agitation as the chant grows louder, reverberating around the stone walls of the arena. The captive tigers and lions pace back and forth as their handlers exchange nervous glances. How much longer can they hold their deadly charges back? How much longer will the people be denied?

Co-Empresses Piggy and Kitty—looking extremely classy in complimentary but not matchy-matchy ionic chiton gowns—stand and extend their golden and white respective arms. The crowd falls silent, awaiting their judgement.

Thumbs up.

There will be masterposts. And our first one is on ways to decrease spending. Are you not edutained?! Is this not why you are here?!

Look, there are really two basic ways to get more money: increase your income or decrease your spending. Through a clever application of both methods, you can end up with enough money to live comfortably and stress-free without having to sell your organs in the process.

Let’s focus on one half of the equation today: decreasing your spending. The less you spend, the more you have to work with. And living a frugal life means you’ll need less money to get by. It’s all a beautiful circle!

So here it is! The complete list of everything we’ve ever written about being frugal and saving money. Your mileage may vary, so try different stuff until you find what works for you.

And hey. We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.

On food and groceries:

• How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss
• Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic
• If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You
• You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

On entertainment and socializing:

• The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend
• 7 Totally Reasonable Ways to Save Money on Entertainment
• Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date
• The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There
  
• Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!
• What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?
• You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

• How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke
• Run With Me If You Want to Save: Exercising Will Save You Money
• Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics
• You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

On other big expenses:

• The Magical Six-Word Question That’s Saved Me $1,140 in Three Months
• Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague
• Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke
• You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry, Just Like Coco Chanel

On buying secondhand and trading:

• Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand
• I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online
• The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

• How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?
• In Defense of Shameless Regifting
• Judging Charities Like Judgey McJudgerson: How Can Your Donation Make the Biggest Impact?
  
• I Have No Gift to Bring Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum: The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide
• How to Spot a Charitable Scam

On resisting temptation:

• How to Insulate Yourself From Ads
• Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake
• The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

On minimalism and buying less:

• Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool
• Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse
• Slay Your Financial Vampires
• Fuck Your Blue Barking Birch Box

On saving money:

• It Really Does Add Up: On Saving Your Little Savings
• Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal
• The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”

Bitches Get Riches: setting realistic expectations since 2017!