Tag: capitalism

A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent

Piggy 10 Comments

If you’ve ever applied to a job, you’ve seen it: the list of ~*fun job perks*~ at the end of a job description, meant to entice would-be employees with grand promises of free coffee in the break room and foosball tables! Who wouldn’t want a discounted monthly membership to the fancy yoga studio, or massage chairs in the lobby, or an automatic vacation day on your birthday???

ME, that’s who. I righteously spit in the face of your fun job perks! And you should too! Because no matter how much you might appreciate a monthly pizza day in the office… it’s not going to pay your rent.

I am here today to call out fun job perks for what they are: infuriatingly meaningless bribes meant to distract us from a lack of humane compensation. And I brought backup.

We asked our readers for a list of the kind of fun job perks employers offer in an attempt to attract potential employees. The kind that seem great on the surface, but are almost always offered instead of rather than in addition to higher compensation or better quality insurance. And as always, when we sent up the Bitch Signal, the citizens of Bitch Nation delivered.

When we turn on the Bitch Signal, the bitchlings come running.
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They’re Lying to Us About the True Causes of Inflation

Piggy 21 Comments

Sigh. Fine. Let’s talk about inflation. Everyone else is!

Inflation is the highest it’s been in four decades. Which you know if you’ve paid attention to the news or had the misfortune of listening to a conservative Boomer dad complain recently. If you’ve casually absorbed information from these sources in recent weeks, then you’ve probably also heard that a) there’s no end in sight, b) this is all the government’s fault, and c) nothing can be done to stop the vicious shadowy hand of inflation!

In the words of noted jelly bean lover Ronald Reagan, “Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man.” (Join our Patreon to make our weekly newsletter Giraffes That Look Like Ronald Reagan a reality.)

Scary stuff, right? Won’t somebody please think of the [checks notes] price per barrel of crude oil????

In all seriousness, I have to work hard to make jokes about inflation. Because it has real negative effects on real people who could really use a fucking break right about now. Somebody choosing between buying overpriced milk for their kids or overpriced gas for their commute to work probably doesn’t give a shit about what’s to blame for high inflation. They just want it to stop.

Which is why today I’m going to toss out all the usual inflation red herrings—the political convenience of using inflation to shit on the current administration, for example—and distractions. And then I’m going to talk about the real struggle.

… the CLASS STRUGGLE, of course!

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The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

The Real Story of How I Paid off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 26 Comments

As of fifteen minutes (and one very cold beer) ago, I officially own the beautiful house I’m sitting in right now.

That’s right: I paid off my mortgage early.

My partner and I have been refreshing our mortgage account every few hours today, waiting for the final payment to process. (Weirdly, you have to WIRE the final payment. Seriously? After this years-long relationship of sending personal check after personal check, our mortgage lender refuses to trust us at the finish line? Fine, whatever…) Just before the close of the day, it happened.

Look! I paid off my mortgage early!

Current principal balance: $0.00.

$0.00.

My mortgage is gone. I am done paying rent. I paid off my mortgage early. If all things go according to plan, I will never ever pay rent again for as long as I live. Let’s talk about it!

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Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 8 Comments


Our podcast question today is on the topic of wealth, privilege, and g-g-g-g—

No, not ghosts! It’s g-g-g-guilt!

Specifically: rich white lady guilt! OooOOoooOOOO!

But don’t be afraid. Piggy and I are both ex-Catholics. Whatever kind of guilt you have, we can slice and dice it into bite-sized chunks with the studied grace of a teppanyaki chef.

Today’s question

“As a progressive person and someone who is starting to get into a pretty good place financially (have an emergency fund, bought a home a few years ago, paid off credit card debts), I’ve started feeling so guilty! It probably doesn’t help that I work in finance too. I don’t like capitalism but I’m working it the way I’m ‘supposed’ to. How do I feel less guilty for making myself financially healthy?”

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The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 12 Comments

Kitty: <writes title>

Kitty: <pats self on back until wrist breaks>

Self-congratulatory.

As we discussed earlier this month, shopping for a holiday gift can be… well, sucky. As often as it’s fun, it’s stressful and financially draining.

But if you’ve been paying attention to our RADICAL SOCIAL JUSTICE WAR CRIES, you won’t be surprised to hear that we’re pretty conflicted about holiday gift-giving in general. Specifically, our gripe is with the hyped-up mass commercialization and the endless push to consume.

Tokens and gestures of kindness give us a seasonal thrill—I mean, we’re not totally dead inside! Merely partially! But when you hate consumerism, it can be really hard to participate in the good parts of the tradition without feeling like you’ve lost touch with your own values.

Anti-consumerism is a lake fed by many rivers. Mindless consumption is bad for people, bad for the planet, bad for your wallet, and rote and impersonal. Some people care a lot about one or two of those aspects more strongly than others. If only there were some kind of helpful Venn diagram that broke down anti-consumerist attitudes about gift giving…

Oh wait! Silly me, I’m a graphic designer! I’m paid to eat data and shit out Venn diagrams!

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Fast Fashion: Why It’s Fucking up the World and How To Avoid It

Piggy 18 Comments

As you can tell from our witty banter on the Bad With Money With Gaby Dunn podcast, Kitty and I consider ourselves to be eminently fashionable gentlewomen. Look good, feel good! That’s our motto! (Just kidding that is definitely not our motto. We don’t have one. We’re still workshopping it. Do you even realize how long it took us to come up with the name of this blog? A long time… and many Excel spreadsheets.)

And yet, I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes. I rarely go shopping for myself. And when I do, it is with all the precision and swiftness of a predator drone. Get in, get the goods, get out. I love me a good thrift store find. Few things give me more materialistic glee than purchasing a unique garment at the flea market. And yes, I still shop at fucking Target, but those expenditures are few and far between.

This is partially because of my frugal nature. I just don’t buy a lot of stuff. But it’s also because in recent years I’ve tried really hard to avoid an industry that is damaging to both the environment and to human rights on a global scale.

I am speaking, of course, of fast fashion.

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