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S02E02: "I'm not ready to buy a house---but how do I *get ready* to get ready?"

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

Previously on season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast…

We dealt with the existential guilt of crushing your personal finances while your friends struggle to get by. This time, though, we’re taking a question from the other end of the spectrum. What do you do, practically and mentally, when your very modest life goal feels like a financial impossibility?

Naturally, we had opinions. And not just because we are two loudmouthed internet white ladies who have never learned when to shut up!

This week’s question

An anonymous Tumblr follower asks…

Hi Bitches! I’m only twenty years old, so I know this is unrealistic, but my greatest wish in life is to own a teeny tiny cottage somewhere with a garden.

I don’t even care where in the world I have to live to make it happen. Like I said: unrealistic. I know that I probably won’t get my little cottage for a long time.

All the same, I know absolutely nothing about how to work towards that goal, so do you have any advice for a young aspiring homeowner? How does buying a house even work? Thank you!

Kitty and I had a very, very visceral reaction to this question, which you’ll hear in the episode. I’m not saying we decided to burn it all down and start the revolution because owning a small rural home with a garden should not fucking seem like an unattainable goal, but, well…

I digress. Here’s your homework:

A huge fucking thank you to our lovely patrons, who made season two of the podcast possible. The capeless heroes who are our Patreon donors get all kinds of extra BGR goodies, including grainy cellphone footage of us singing the “Elephant Love Medley” from Moulin Rouge. Well worth their hard-earned pennies, I’m sure they’d agree. Patreon donors can vote on article topics, pitch us questions directly, and get private answers from us directly in their inbox. Join us over at our Patreon page!

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

My darling, hyper-intelligent baby deer, I am going to share with you one of the best, most secret methods of saving money. It cuts down on wasteful spending. It increases your savings. It encourages you to be intentional. It even empowers you to live your best life.

Please hold onto something and prepare yourself spiritually. Ready? Here goes:

Don’t spend money on things you don’t like.

Wait, come back! I know it sounds obvious… but I find myself breaking this personal rule all the damn time. And whenever I do, I regret it, and not just for the wasted dollars I will never ever see again. So take my hand and let’s break it down, shall we?

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My parents always treated the topic of investing the same way they did the topic of sex: knowledge to be imparted "when you're older."

Advice I Wish My Parents Gave Me When I Was 16

My parents meant so, so well. And they were so, so right about some things (the relative unworthiness of all teenage boys, for example). But there are a couple of things I’m kinda pissed they didn’t tell me about when I was 16 and on the cusp of making serious decisions about finances and the next several years of my life.

It’s not that they told me nothing, or even that they gave me horrible advice. But I feel like my time as a 16-year-old was the last year of my life before I was expected to make monumental decisions that would affect my financial future in really, really big ways. And that future could have been drastically different (and potentially better) if only they’d told me some key things that would have influenced my decisions about college, a career, and investing.

I brought receipts.

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