Bitches Get Riches • Page 26 of 47 • Finance. Feminism. No fucks given.

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

December 3, 2019June 3, 2022 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 25 Comments

Today I’m answering a timely question from one of our Tumblr followers. Takeittothestarss asks…

“Hi bitches! I hope you’re well and that you can help me (in that order). I’ve recently moved out of my parent’s house into an apartment with a couple housemates. Our building is old and not well insulated. It also doesn’t have A/C or heating, so right now it’s cold as balls. I’m wearing 5 sweaters and a blanket and I’m still cold. How do I warm this space up? I can’t make any modifications to it bc it’s a rental and we’re college students in very expensive city, so the less $ the better. Thanks!”

Ah. Heat. Like hope, it leaves the world sometimes, and we’re all worse off for it. But this is a modern late-stage-capitalist twist on a classic tenet of life on the cheap.

If there’s a Ten Commandments of Frugal Living, the first three are probably…

Thou shalt not drinketh the fruit of the latte.
Thou shalt cut thine cable.
Just put on a goddamn sweater.

This coincides with the first two of the Ten Commandments of Being Dad…

Thou shalt not touch the thermostat.
Nay, seriously, thou shalt not fucking touch it.

I live in New England, which is about as cold and dark as Hell itself. Even now, several feet of snow are pouring down around me. Even worse, I live in an old house that’s still heated by oil.

Each fill-up is about $500.

Give me something for the pain and let me die.

Like most frugal New Englanders, I have shivered my way through many a cold winter day, trying to save a few ha’pennies to buy my husband the new watch chain he so richly deserves. So I’m going to tell you what I know about staying warm.

Keep in mind that, thanks to our Patreon donors, we don’t need to stoop to spon-con. All the product recommendations in this article come straight from the heart!

Episode 006: "I lent my boyfriend money. He took it to a casino."

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

November 21, 2019October 6, 2020 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 12 Comments

Today’s episode really has everything. Piggy and I exchanging loving compliments and deep insights—then following it up with sex jokes, and a little off-mic shrieking as this poor Redditor describes her situation.

A young college student lent her older boyfriend money for food and student loans… yet he somehow ends up at a casino.

Hmm… yes, we might have something to say about this one.

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

November 14, 2019June 6, 2022 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 9 Comments

Today’s podcast question comes to us from Patreon donor Rachel. She’s in a good situation overall: stable, paying down debt quickly, and gainfully employed as an engineer.

But her feelings about engineering overall are, mmm… tepid.

Shall we slap her for even considering leaving a lucrative and in-demand field? Or shall we kiss her on both cheeks and push her off the gravy train? You’ll have to listen to find out!

How the Hell Does One Open a Bank Account? Asking for a Friend

How the Hell Does One Open a Bank Account? Asking for a Friend.

November 11, 2019June 3, 2022 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 10 Comments

When I was about thirteen or so, my mom brought me down to the local branch of the regional bank and helped me set up my first checking account. I had diligently saved $100 of my babysitting money, which I deposited in my brand new checking account.

And suddenly, I was an individual with a bank! I had the ability to deposit and withdraw cash from that account. I could use my debit card to buy things with the money in that account. And I could transfer money from that account to others as I grew older and my financial needs expanded. When I got my first jobs, my employers could automatically deposit my paychecks directly into that account. Heckin’ magical.

I thought this was a pretty damn normal step toward adulthood. So imagine my surprise when I learned, years later, that not everyone goes through the rite of passage of opening a bank account when they’re young. Or at all.

There are, in fact, 17 million American adults who do not have a bank account of any kind. These individuals are known as the unbanked. The unbanked or underbanked represent 25% of U.S. households. And while many of them choose to be unbanked for various legitimate reasons (a distrust of financial institutions, for example), many of them are unbanked because of circumstances beyond their control (an inability to open an account due to legal status, or an inability to maintain minimum balances due to long-term poverty, for example).

Having a bank account is important and useful. So allow your beloved Internet auntie to take you under her downy, cloud-like snow goose wing and walk you through everything you need to know about how and why to open your very first bank account!

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

November 7, 2019October 6, 2020 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 8 Comments

Our podcast question today is on the topic of wealth, privilege, and g-g-g-g—

No, not ghosts! It’s g-g-g-guilt!

Specifically: rich white lady guilt! OooOOoooOOOO!

But don’t be afraid. Piggy and I are both ex-Catholics. Whatever kind of guilt you have, we can slice and dice it into bite-sized chunks with the studied grace of a teppanyaki chef.

Today’s question

“As a progressive person and someone who is starting to get into a pretty good place financially (have an emergency fund, bought a home a few years ago, paid off credit card debts), I’ve started feeling so guilty! It probably doesn’t help that I work in finance too. I don’t like capitalism but I’m working it the way I’m ‘supposed’ to. How do I feel less guilty for making myself financially healthy?”

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

November 4, 2019November 10, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 12 Comments

Last week I was chatting with a rad young lady who is about to start her final semester of college. When the subject of careers and negotiation came up, I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. (“Teaching young people how to negotiate their salaries” is what I write down on the religion line on surveys.)

I asked what salary range she was asking for, and she quickly answered: “$37,000.”

It struck me as an unusual number for two reasons:

First, it seemed mighty low. Many people live happy, stable lives on as much or less—but she was a high-achieving college student entering a STEM field in one of the ten most expensive American cities. I expected double or triple that amount.
Second, what’s with the non-round number? Usually when people talk about hypothetical large numbers, they do so in intervals of fives and tens. It’s why the JonBenét ransom note haunts us all to this day! (And by “us” I mean rubberneckers who were alive in the 90s and/or true crime nerds. Surely everyone belongs in one of those demographics.)

So I dug deeper. “Why that number?”

She explained that she sat down with a notebook and wrote down all the expenses she might have in a given month. “Rent, internet, groceries, student loans, car insurance… I added it all up, multiplied by twelve, and added 10% for savings. It came out to $36,200, so I rounded up just to be safe.”

My nurturing altruism joined forces with my baser capitalist instincts to manifest a camera to do a dolly zoom on my horrified face.

Podcast Episode 003: "My parents have bad credit. Should I help by co-signing their mortgage?"

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

October 31, 2019October 6, 2020 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 1 Comment

When life stresses me out beyond belief, I find nothing more soothing or rejuvenating than reading about petty dramas I’m not personally involved in.

Neighbors feuding in all caps on Next Door; running blogs dragging the shit out of marathon cheaters; Facebook mommy groups erupting into explosive schisms over international geopolitics. Ahhhh… reading them is like slipping into a warm bath. So juicy! So low-stakes! With so much to fret about in my life, it’s nice to pause and contemplate the completely optional frettings of random other people I will likely never meet.

Which is why I love Reddit! And I’ll occasionally pull random questions that ~~feed the drama-devouring beast within me~~ interest me! Today’s question was found on r/personalfinance, a board where I lurk on the reg for obvious reasons…

Common Job Interview Questions and How to Answer Them with the Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude

Common Job Interview Questions and How to Answer Them with the Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude

October 28, 2019June 3, 2022 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 16 Comments

https://twitter.com/geekylonglegs/status/557966555313868800?lang=en

Ah, the ubiquitous job interview. A necessary if painful step toward acquiring a job—any job! Just as nobody actually loves Rod Stewart as a musician or liver and onions as an entrée, nobody actually loves interviewing for jobs. Literally nobody.

And yet being good at job interviews is an invaluable skill. Especially if you’d like to become employed at some point in your life. And barring any hyper-intelligent dolphins or useless heirs to a corporate empire reading this article, that’s all of you.

We’ve already talked about what to do when you get asked about your salary during a job interview (a question that is as unethical as it is manipulative). But how about some of those other common, annoying interview questions? The ones you can count on getting, and that you dread like a combination root canal and pap smear?

I scoured the Internet for literally dozens of minutes to find brilliant answers to some of those awful job interview questions. And what I found filled me with hope!

I’m going to break down some of the most annoying and tricky job interview questions and how to answer them with at least the confidence and poise of the mediocre white man more likely to be hired than you.

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

October 24, 2019September 9, 2021 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") Leave a comment

Wow, thanks to all the folks who left a nice review on our very first episode! Please continue to ignore our amateur hour aspects. Squint hard and see only the good!

The second episode of our podcast returns to the realm of the workplace, where we give A++, very sound and rational career advice to a listener.

Podcast Episode 001: "Should I tell my boss I'm looking for another job?"

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

October 17, 2019October 6, 2020 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 2 Comments

That’s right. We’ve already teased this information, but it’s true.

Piggy and I stared deeply into each other’s eyes, communicated our love and dedication from a realm beyond words, pulled the condom off, and decided to make a podcast baby together. Here’s hoping it inherits her lustrous hair and my mighty wrists, which can open any jar!

Listen above—or look for Bitches Get Riches in the podcast app of your choice!