Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Can I Get Fired for Skipping Work?”

Welcome to the Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round! We’re working around the clock to answer your questions about coronavirus, the impact of quarantine, and the recession of 2020.

Yeah, that’s kinda how life feels right now.

We know y’all are already drowning in a deluge of news stories and rumors about COVID-19, the global pandemic caused by the coronavirus. But there’s also a lot of misinformation circulating. Folks are getting real panicky in a time when we most need to be calm, rational, and trusting.

This is why Kitty and I have thrown all our other work aside to speed up our writing schedule. We want to soothe your consciences and help you keep your shit together. On Monday we focused on the practical steps you can take to help yourself and your community stay safe and healthy. If you haven’t read that article yet, go do so.

We wish that Bitch Nation was a real country. There, we could not only quarantine all our beloved readers, but offer them a living minimum wage, paid sick leave for all workers, and mandate at least one dog per household. Alas! Our empire is merely virtual.

So today we’re kicking off a special Lightning Round of Ask the Bitches. We’re publishing as many Q&A articles as we can in the coming days. We want to put your minds at ease, dispel some misconceptions, and give you some helpful resources for getting through COVID-19 fever (pun intended???) with your sanity and emergency funds intact.

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"Should I believe the fear-mongering about another recession?"

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”



Today we conclude season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Because twelve is a lovely number. So flexible, so inviting. Two digits, but still approachable. It’ll divide by two, three, four, six… you know. Whatever! Twelve goes with the flow. It’s pansexual, it works from home, and we stan it.

Season one was a labor of love. We scripted, recorded, and edited it ourselves. Piggy even wrote and recorded our opening song. (YES! That’s Piggy singing and self-harmonizing! Thank you for respecting her Rennaisance Personhood!) It was definitely the endeavor that pushed BGR from “time-intensive hobby” into “second full-time job” territory. Which is why we’re taking a short break. But we think it was worth it, and we hope you do too!

Our final question of season one comes from Patreon donor Madi (thank you, dearie!), who wants to know…

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There's a Storm a'Comin': What We Know About the Next Recession

There’s a Storm a’Comin’: What We Know About the Next Recession

A foul wind’s a’blowin’! There’s evil in the air! A recession is a’brewin’ and you need to be prepared! 

-From “Pay Off Them Debts Before the Recession Comes,” by Piggy Smalls featuring The Kitty Kat Kid, new from Bitches Get Riches Records

Last week we put all your pre-recession fears to rest by explaining how you can arm yourself with strong financial decisions before the next recession comes. To recap:

  • Track your spending. You’ll feel less anxious and more in-control if you have a clear picture of your needs.
  • Fatten up your emergency fund. Let your level of risk set the size of your emergency fund.
  • Pay off as much debt as you can. This will give you more flexibility with your money and reduce your expenses overall.
  • Get a credit card or increase your existing credit limit. Credit freezes up during a recession, so get it now while you still can. Yes, credit is scawwwy and can be misused—but it is a tool that can instantly put food on your table.
  • Get your health in order. Avail yourself of healthcare access while you have it, and stock up on needed prescriptions.
  • Identify areas to cut back before you have to. The less money you spend every month, the less money you need to get by. The less you need to get by, the easier it’ll be to pay your bills if you lose your source of income.
  • Broaden your skills. Start doing whatever you need to make your resume stand out in a more competitive job market.
  • Back up your work files. You don’t want to lose potential portfolio pieces.
  • Stay the course. Don’t freak out and pull your money from the stock market.
  • Be kind. A time is coming when we’re going to have to depend on each other. No one wants to help out an asshole when times are tough.

So praise be, we know what to do! But what exactly is going to happen? And when?

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Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

We’ve gotten a lot of questions recently about a hypothetical looming recession. The stock market has taken a bruising; bellwether companies are stumbling. Do such omens and portents mean that another recession on its way?

The good news is, we can answer this one very easily.

Yes. Another recession is coming.

We know this with 100% certainty.

How?

The same way we know with 100% certainty that Piggy and I will be dead within the next hundred years. It is in the nature of a living being to die, just as it is in the nature of economies to grow and contract. The sun rises; the sun falls. The tides go in; the tides go out. It’s just the way things are.

Sounds kinda shitty, right? It’s possible that, someday far in the future, someone will devise some new system that will smooth out or even eliminate these cycles. Maybe the nature of goods and services will change so fundamentally that economies will transform in ways we can’t even imagine. But that’s Phillip K. Dick stuff—innovations that live so far in a hypothetical future that they’re still science fiction. You should plan to endure these market cycles throughout your lifetime.

And yes, there are lots of things you can do to make yourself more prepared. Let’s go through them.

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