taxes Archives • Bitches Get Riches

Season 5, Episode 3: “I Can’t Decide Where To Live. Do Taxes, Housing, and Cost of Living Really Matter?”

July 21, 2026July 21, 2026 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 1 Comment

I moved out to the Denver metro area with my partner in 2009 after graduating from college (SPOILER ALERT NEWBIES, WE OLD).

We’d been living in Boston and, uh, not only was the cost of living and housing pretty steep, but the job market in the area was waaaay competitive. We knew we wanted to move somewhere cheaper with more job opportunities (this was in the Before Times when most jobs were location-dependent). So we narrowed it down to a handful of places in the U.S. and did our research.

Everywhere we looked was an urban area with lots of rural space nearby. So that almost completely excluded the East Coast from our search. We looked at places like Pittsburgh, Portland Oregon, Bozeman Montana, Denver, Santa Fe, Austin, and Seattle. Most of those places are now wildly expensive, but at the time they were way more affordable than, say, Boston, Chicago, or New York.

We chose Denver because my partner’s company was able to transfer him out there and I got accepted to a graduate certificate program at a nearby university. Plus, some of my partner’s coworkers were also moving there, so we had immediate roommates.

At the time, this move didn’t feel so monumental. Our attitude was “Hey, this could work, so let’s try it for a while.” Fifteen years later, I still live in Colorado.

So I guess that means I should have some sound advice for deciding where to live??? Let’s find out in today’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Taxes

February 20, 2025April 13, 2026 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 2 Comments

It’s that time again! The Ides of April approacheth. Time to pay the piper, render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and pay your dues, for there is nothing sure in the world save death and our topic for the day.

Yes, that’s right: It’s officially tax season yet again. RUDE.

Over the years we’ve covered many aspects of taxes—from how to file them for free to what to do if you fuck ’em up. So today I’m gathering all our scintillating tax season advice together in one place. For no matter how little money you make, nor how full of moths your wallet, the tax man comes for us all.

Taxes are based on your income, not how much you've managed to save. Just FYI.

How to File Your Taxes FOR FREE in 2025: Simple Instructions for the Stressed-out Taxpayer

March 14, 2024February 20, 2025 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 32 Comments

Listen up, babies. We’ve been dancing around the issue of taxes for a while now, and it’s time we got to it. Yes, we’ve explained the importance of taxes as a fee for membership in civilization. We’ve told you why you should file your taxes ASAP. And we’ve even told you about that time the IRS audited me!

It’s time to face the beast head-on. It is our sacred duty, as your duly appointed Bitches, to take you through this unpleasantness step by step.

Yea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of income tax, you shall fear no audits; for We art with you; Our gifs and Our snark they comfort you.
-The Book of the Bitches, 3:7-9

Would You Rather Owe Taxes or Get a Tax Refund This April? The Answer Might Surprise You!

December 20, 2023December 20, 2023 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 3 Comments

Gird your loins, everyone! Tax season is almost upon us.

International readers, today you are dismissed. Go prance off to enjoy your state-sponsored healthcare or hold a wealthy politician accountable for their actions. Or, if you enjoy being baffled and horrified by uniquely American shitfuckery, stick around! Because nothing will make you more grateful to live in Denmark, Canada, or Namibia than the tax laws of the United States.

A few years ago I asked Lauren this question: “When it comes time to file your taxes, would you rather receive a tax refund or owe taxes to the government?”

“Get a tax return. No question,” she answered.

Which surprised me! Because as far as I was concerned, I’d much rather owe taxes than get a tax refund. I told her as much, to which she said “Just wait until your income increases. You’ll change your mind real quick the first time you get a five-figure tax bill.”

So what was that all about? Which Bitch had the right answer? Is there a “right” answer?

Today I want to go over a little-known quirk of the tax system, one that affects taxpayers from all across the income spectrum. And in the end, I’ll go over what you can do about it to save yourself the most money in the coming tax season.

Screw Up Your Taxes? Here’s How To Get Out of Paying Tax Penalties

June 7, 2023June 7, 2023 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 3 Comments

Bitches Get Riches had been a business for a mere three years before we got a massive tax penalty fine.

Yes, that’s right: even your flawless finance aunties ~~occasionally~~ regularly make money mistakes! Despite appearances, we are but mere mortals, flubbing paperwork and misunderstanding deadlines! Aren’t we relatable??? Don’t you like us even more now?!?

And in this particular case, we screwed up our annual tax filing—a mistake that was going to cost us upwards of $4,800. Which, uh… was not ideal.

But while we are more than capable of mistakes, we are also equally capable of researching our way out of most financial problems. Which is exactly why we were able to make that $4,800 tax bill… disappear!

And because we love you, today we’re going to share that trick with you.

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

September 21, 2022May 20, 2024 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 17 Comments

Also known as “the magical six-word question that’s saved me $1,140 in the last three months.” Sounds like clickbait, right? But miraculously, this tip is 100% legit and may one day save your (financial) life.

It’s a special little secret called… the cash discount.

I’m a little wary of asking for discounts, especially from very small companies. When it’s just one or two people running the show, it means those one or two people spend an inordinate percentage of their time doing things they don’t like to do. Nobody starts their own business because they love filing quarterly taxes—they soldier through it for the 10% of the time running their business in which they’re actually doing the thing they love.

And every small business owner I’ve known has lost sleep over their pricing. (Us included!) No matter what you’re selling, there’s local and global competition for it, and consumers have tools now that didn’t exist 10 or 20 years ago that allow them to find, compare, rate, and review similar services. The world is a buyer’s market, and it’s really hard to measure what you know your work is worth against what you know people are willing to pay for it.

So asking to pay less for the same product is almost always a wearying and unwelcome question… with one very special exception.

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

June 8, 2022June 8, 2022 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 7 Comments

If I had to rank all the things I love to do in my precious free time, where would opening a retirement account fall? Let me see, hmm… above a root canal, but below politely accepting a religious tract from a door-knocking missionary. (What can I say? Some of them have pretty nice artwork!)

Have you been procrastinating on opening your retirement account? Feeling lazy? Avoidant? Afraid of the paperwork? Feel like you’d rather use that money on stuff you need or want right now? Obviously, I feel you.

But buck up, son! I’m about to tell you why you can’t afford not to open a retirement account.

Wait… what’s a retirement account again?

To recap with a vast simplification: Americans have access to two main kinds of retirement accounts.

First, a 401(k)—or 403(b), if you work for a nonprofit—is a retirement fund facilitated by your employer. You set it up so they can take money directly out of your paycheck and squirrel it safely away for you to use when you’re terrorizing orderlies in the nursing home. That way you can focus on maintaining your record as Wheelchair Drag Race Champion of Shady Hills Retirement Community and not get distracted by petty financial concerns.

Second, there’s IRAs (individual retirement accounts), both traditional and Roth. IRAs are very similar to 401(k)s, but they’re attached to you directly instead of your employer. There are other differences, but meh, they’re pretty minor. You can get acquainted with the finer points later.

Retirement accounts are powerful tools for growing wealth and stability for your future self. The trick is you have to opt into your retirement account. If you’re self-employed, or you work for a company that doesn’t offer 401(k)s, you need to go out and open your own IRA. And if you work for a company that offers 401(k)s, you need to sign up and voluntarily tell someone to NOT give you part of your paycheck every month.

As broke as you are right now, ignoring a perfectly good retirement fund is a terrible idea. Because if you do that, you’ll lose money in three different ways.

Season 3, Episode 8: “Should I Get Married for Tax Purposes? My Boyfriend Swears We’d Save Money, but I’m Not So Sure…”

December 2, 2021August 2, 2022 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 6 Comments

Ah, taxes! Second only to gas prices in the list of things we Americans like to blame for our money woes. Also: hella romantic!

That’s right, Bitch Nation, for today on the podcast we’re discussing the intersection of love and taxes. Specifically, the question of whether you should get married for tax purposes.

Popular wisdom dictates that getting married and filing taxes jointly will give you a huge discount on your tax bill. We’ve heard worse reasons to get married. But is this one really true?

As usual, the answer is… it depends! On your circumstances, your income, your property ownership, and a whole host of other matters. We are by no means tax experts (though our marriage expertise is beyond reproach), but we’re going to do our best to shine a light on the question of getting married for tax purposes.

Here comes the bride!

Season 3, Episode 3: “I Want To Hire a Financial Advisor. Can They Be Trusted, or Are They Full of Shit?”

October 22, 2021November 2, 2021 Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 9 Comments

It is a truth universally acknowledged that sitting next to a chatty person on an airplane is the fastest way to come to hate them and everything about them. Which is exactly what happened when I was once seated next to a financial advisor on a plane.

Suffice it to say, my opinion of financial advisors has always been rather… skeptical. I’ve never been fully convinced of their worth to the average person. I can see why they might be useful to someone with lots of fat stacks! Or to someone facing bankruptcy. But to those of us who fall somewhere in between? Nah.

Which is why I’m delighted to share that this week’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast changed my mind in real time. Listen in as Kitty broadens my horizons and we discuss the true benefits of a solid financial advisor.

Me, having my whole mind changed about hiring a financial advisor.

My Taxes Are a Little, uh, Creative. What’s My Risk of Being Audited?

April 15, 2019February 20, 2025 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 12 Comments

Enough time has probably passed for me to admit to playing fast and loose with the truth in some very old tax returns. But let’s drape this whole conversation in a veil of hypotheticality to preserve our modesty.

THIS ARTICLE DEALS IN HYPOTHETICALS, I SAY!

MY FAN FICTION NOVEL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ONE DIRECTION, I SAY! NOTHING!

As all liars will tell you when caught, I (hypothetically) had great reasons for lying. I was (hypothetically) a new graduate during the worst part of the Great Recession, cobbling together freelance jobs to afford a gruel made of boxed mac and cheese thinned with water and Goya packets. I was (hypothetically) hanging onto adult independence by my fingernails. And my fingernails were notoriously hypothetically thin and weak from my high-sodium gruel diet!

This was pretty much how my first tax return after college went…

KITTY:
I made $18,000 last year.

IRS:
Awesome, give us $3,000 of it.

KITTY:
That can’t be right.

IRS:
It is.

KITTY:
Wh— Bu— I live in one of the most expensive cities in America. I can barely pay rent and put food in my cupboards. The unemployment rate for young people is almost 20%, for fuck’s sake! Surely you wouldn’t charge a flat tax rate on someone so desperate?

IRS:
We totally would.

KITTY:
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.
Lay open to my earthly gross conceit,
smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
the folded meaning of your words’ deceit.
Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you
to make it wander in an unknown field?
Are you a god? Would you create me now?
Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.
But if I am that I am, then well I know
I do not have three thousand dollars, bro,
Nor to your purse no homage do I owe.

IRS:
Ma’am, will that be check or money order?