Choosing the right healthcare plan can be intimidating, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. The stakes are high; the options are confusing; there’s often a small window during which you can make the choice before you lose your chance; and the whole thing highlights the merciless jank that is our healthcare system!
Luckily, there’s an incredibly easy, 100% foolproof way to make the decision. Here’s our secret to choosing the right healthcare plan:
First, you put it off until there’s only, like, two days left to pick. Then, you forward all your onboarding documents to your dad’s wife, Carol. She is the perfect person for the task, being both generous and detail-oriented in a way you will never understand. Finally, you pick whichever one she says, and never think about it again until your soul walks the halls of the Duat and Anubis weighs your heart against Ma’at’s Feather of Eternal Truth.
… What’s that?
You don’t have a Carol?! My, how awkward for you.
I suppose that means the task falls to me. Heavy is the head that wears the crown of reading fine print! Today I’ll explain a really easy method for choosing the right healthcare plan. If you’ve never chosen your own plan, or you’re faced with a bunch of new options, it’ll help you quickly identify the best one based on your specific healthcare needs.
Today’s article pertains to the American healthcare system. International readers, I’m releasing you early. Use this time to study up on equally important international adulting tasks: navigating Ryanair’s lost baggage policy, keeping poutine from getting soggy, etc.
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