“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 11 Comments

Every year, wage theft robs millions of American workers of billions of dollars—and worker misclassification is one of its most widespread, evil forms.

There are crystal-clear guidelines on the difference between independent contractors and employees. And a lot of employers steal from their workers by ignoring them. Today, I’m going to break the differences down for you. See if you recognize yourself, a friend, or a family member in these wage-theft-vulnerable positions.

If you are in a misclassification situation, your employer has stolen your wages. But there’s good news! You have recourse to get my two favorite things: money and justice! You can seek tax reimbursements, backpay, unpaid overtime, worker’s compensation benefits, and more for the years you were misclassified. And you can report your exploitative employer and get them into a wet mess of trouble.

Not to toot my own horn, but did you notice how I managed to say “misclassification situation” and not follow it with “truly an inspiration, it’ll be a sensation, we’ll have a Dalmatian plantation?”

And did you further notice that I didn’t go on a secondary digression about how Anita from 101 Dalmatians can absolutely get it? Yeah, that’s because I’m a professional. I’m on-topic as shit. Plus, it’s not really even debatable…

If you say she's not a babe, that's some worker misclassification right there.

Note: Sorry, international readers! We’re talking exclusively about American labor law today. Go grab a non-cheeseburger food item of your choice and come back next week.

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How to Build Good Credit Without Going Into Debt

How to Build Good Credit Without Going Into Debt

Piggy 4 Comments

Adult human beings need credit—good credit—to do lots of important adult things such as renting apartments and buying cars. We’ve been over this! But conventional wisdom says that the best way—nay, the only way—to build good credit is by accumulating debt.

That assumption about building credit through getting in debt feels backwards to me. For after all, the entire purpose of a credit score is to show that you’re worthy of loans. So you have to owe money so that you can then… owe money? And having debt, whether it be in the form of a balance on a credit card or just Ye Olde Student Loane, can lead you down a fucking terrifying cycle of overspending and interest that can eventually damage your credit, rather than helping it.

So let’s toss out the conventional wisdom. There’s got to be a better way! And there is. For it’s entirely possible to steadily build good credit without going into a day of debt.

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The FIRE Movement, Explained

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 17 Comments

Am I really writing about the FIRE movement? Seven years into running what is, ostensibly, a FIRE movement blog? Why yes, I am!

We’ve published over 400 articles for Bitches Get Riches. It’s possible that one day we’ll stop because we’ve run out of things to say. But today ain’t that day.

A day may come when I'm over the FIRE movement. But it is not this day!

Today, I’m explaining a concept so important to us—so central and foundational to every aspect of our lives—that we forgot to write about it. For years.

What can I say? It’s peak me! When a friend comes to visit, I often meet them at the threshold, drag them inside, thrust food into their hands, and press them to name their favorite title card from the original Batman: the Animated Series before I remember to actually, y’know, greet them. A tiny minority of people find this blunderbuss communication style charming. I’m grateful to them! I collect them! And if you’re still reading our blog after such a glaring long-term omission, congratulations: you’re a part of my collection.

If this is your first time hearing about the FIRE movement, sit down. Get comfortable. I might have the privilege of changing your life—and I want us both to enjoy it.

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A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") Leave a comment

Today we have something truly special for you.

A few months ago, we had an opportunity to talk to an artist who’s been an absolutely iconic figure in our lives. Longtime readers know we are obsessed with Chris Dane Owens. His self-produced high fantasy rock music videos grabbed us at a formative time in our lives, and they’ve never let us go.

We first encountered Chris Dane Owens during our college years as roommates, when his viral hit music video for Shine On Me (2008) blasted across the duct-taped screens of our Dell Latitudes. Its radiant awesomeness pierced the clouds of our cynical art school education, which in the early aughts was insisting that art could only be good if it was gritty and brown and serious and rEaLiStIc. And to this day, we play its followup Light Speed (2014) before every speech and public appearance to pump ourselves up and appear effortlessly high energy.

Eventually, our superfanning caught his attention, and he magnanimously offered to come on our show. Our producer Ducky had to physically push our souls back into our bodies.

Today we’re thrilled to share that conversation.

Now, if you’re thinking “Eh, I’m here for the personal finance and career stuff, I’m gonna skip this one,” STOP! We talked about so many issues that matter to our readers.

  • How do you balance the soul-restoring work of creative endeavors with the draining but necessary work of paying bills?
  • Why does doing art on a part-time or hobby basis make us feel like failures or sellouts?
  • How do you identify the cross-functional skills of day jobs and passion projects that make you better at both?
  • Can you still grow and improve as an artist during times when money and work take priority?
  • If the work you want to do can’t be done alone, where do you meet collaborators and supporters?
  • How do you sustain a creative effort over a long period of time?
  • How do you fit self-funded art into a normal budget?

Chris provides a lot of honest and thoughtful answers to these questions, and more. We’re so grateful to him for his time and insights. We hope you enjoy listening half as much as we enjoyed making his episode, because it was easily the most fun we’ve ever had recording our podcast.

You can find Chris Dane Owens’s music on your streaming platform of choice. His YouTube channel has all of his legendary music videos. (If you haven’t seen them, have you even truly lived?) And if you want updates about his upcoming FEATURE FILM, Empire Queen, you can find links to videos, sneak peeks, and social channels for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and more at EmpireQueenMovie.com.

Special thanks go to Chris for so graciously appearing on our little podcast, and to our producer Ducky. Recording with guests always adds an extra layer of challenge, and she rose to the occasion!

The Expensive Difference Between Recreation and Recovery

Piggy 20 Comments

Bitchlings, I am exhausted. Yet I’m also kind of… bored? Or not bored, but lacking in enrichment. The zoo enclosure that is my life is simultaneously stressful and dull in a way that I had trouble putting into words until recently.

As alert readers know, I recently read Barbara Sloan‘s excellent book Tipped: The Life Changing Guide to Financial Freedom for Waitresses, Bartenders, Strippers, and All Other Service Industry Professionals. Check out our interview with the author right here!

Reading Tipped gave me an epiphany: my exhaustion, my boredom, and my money stress are all symptomatic of a larger problem. When I’m not working, I’m spending too much time and money recovering from that work and not enough time and money simply in recreation. From Barbara’s book:

“Winding down after a shift, because of the shift, is a work expense.”

Barbara Sloan, Tipped
Poor Tiana does nothing BUT recover from work on her few hours off.

In other words, spending time recovering from your work is a cost of that work. Spending money recovering from your work is a cost of that work. And that’s a problem.

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Predatory NDAs Just Got a Lot Harder To Enforce

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 1 Comment

The topic of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) has been the perennial runner up in our Patreon polls for future article topics for years. They’ve been edged out at least four times by sexier, more topical topics. But today they’re finally getting their place squarely in the middle of the sunbeam that is my attention!

Much like Piggy and I, NDAs have been running amok for about thirty-five years, getting stronger and more belligerent all the time. But unlike us, it seems they’ve peaked.

NDAs, unlike Dennis and I, have peaked.

Within the last six months, three major changes have drastically reduced the enforceability of predatory NDAs.

These changes provide general protection to all impacted employees, and specific protections for victims of sexual harassment. With this, it seems the power and popularity of predatory NDAs is finally waning. And workers are gaining back ground they never should’ve lost.

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A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent

Piggy 10 Comments

If you’ve ever applied to a job, you’ve seen it: the list of ~*fun job perks*~ at the end of a job description, meant to entice would-be employees with grand promises of free coffee in the break room and foosball tables! Who wouldn’t want a discounted monthly membership to the fancy yoga studio, or massage chairs in the lobby, or an automatic vacation day on your birthday???

ME, that’s who. I righteously spit in the face of your fun job perks! And you should too! Because no matter how much you might appreciate a monthly pizza day in the office… it’s not going to pay your rent.

I am here today to call out fun job perks for what they are: infuriatingly meaningless bribes meant to distract us from a lack of humane compensation. And I brought backup.

We asked our readers for a list of the kind of fun job perks employers offer in an attempt to attract potential employees. The kind that seem great on the surface, but are almost always offered instead of rather than in addition to higher compensation or better quality insurance. And as always, when we sent up the Bitch Signal, the citizens of Bitch Nation delivered.

When we turn on the Bitch Signal, the bitchlings come running.
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How to Instantly Increase Your Credit Score… for FREE

Piggy 17 Comments

While we were in the mystical city of Cincinnati recently, we did a live Drunk AMA on YouTube! It was great. We slow-flossed to a church hymn and dispelled the rumor that Ducky is, in fact, a vampire.

One of the questions we received was about Experian Boost. It’s just one of many services that offer to raise your credit score… for a fee. Even in our chaotic drunken state, we were lucid enough to unequivocally recommend that most of you shouldn’t bother with these paid services. There’s an easier, faster, and free way to raise your credit score!

Since not everyone wants to suffer through a 97-minute YouTube video of our collective vocal fry, I am now here to share the wisdom of how to instantly raise your credit score for free. Cast aside those paid services that promise you a better credit score! This is all you need to know.

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6 Lessons YOU Can Learn from the Silicon Valley Bank Crash

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 11 Comments

When news of the Silicon Valley Bank crash broke, I sighed deeply. Because sighing deeply is the age-appropriate version of a toddler pounding their fists on the floor screaming “I don’ wanna, I don’ wanna, I DON’ WANNA!” That’s always how I feel when I have to understand some complicated new brouhaha caused by oligarchs’ greed, when all I truly need in this life is more naptime.

Guys, don’t worry. Because I am a grown-up woman with finely tuned coping mechanisms, I worked through my tantrum and I did it! I understand what the hell happened to Silicon Valley Bank.

Paragon of intellectual generosity that I am, I’m going to explain it back to you. 

If you want an in-depth, technical breakdown, this ain’t gonna be it. I’m going to focus on what this means for us plebs. That means skipping all the boring parts, creatively employing childish metaphors, recklessly speculating about its impact on the future of the economy, and oversimplifying absolutely everything.

Complex, dense financial topics explained by babies, for babies. That’s the Bitches Get Riches brand promise!

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