Season 3, Episode 3: "I Want To Hire a Financial Advisor. Can They Be Trusted, or Are They Full of Shit?"

Season 3, Episode 3: “I Want To Hire a Financial Advisor. Can They Be Trusted, or Are They Full of Shit?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 9 Comments

It is a truth universally acknowledged that sitting next to a chatty person on an airplane is the fastest way to come to hate them and everything about them. Which is exactly what happened when I was once seated next to a financial advisor on a plane.

Suffice it to say, my opinion of financial advisors has always been rather… skeptical. I’ve never been fully convinced of their worth to the average person. I can see why they might be useful to someone with lots of fat stacks! Or to someone facing bankruptcy. But to those of us who fall somewhere in between? Nah.

Which is why I’m delighted to share that this week’s episode of the Bitches Get Riches podcast changed my mind in real time. Listen in as Kitty broadens my horizons and we discuss the true benefits of a solid financial advisor.

Me, having my whole mind changed about hiring a financial advisor.
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Stop Over-Apologizing at Work

Stop Over-Apologizing at Work

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 16 Comments

Over-apologizing at work is a plague among our core demographic of readers (young people, women, judgmental introverts).

If you’re anything like me, you were raised to apologize way too often. I grew up in the American Midwest, Land of the Rising Ope. Socially, we value politeness above all else (corn subsidies and casseroles excluded, obviously). I never thought critically about how much I was apologizing. Until, without realizing it, “sorry” became my default response to every conceivable situation, whether positive, negative, or neutral.

  • Me, when I’m five minutes late: “Ope, sorry!”
  • Also me, but when I’m five minutes early: “Ope, sorry!”
  • And me when I’m exactly on time: (Okay, this has never happened to me even once in my life. But if it did, I would absolutely apologize for setting incorrect expectations of future punctuality.)

This habit was especially noticeable at work. For years, I unconsciously gravitated towards soft, supple, accommodating language in every communication I sent, lest my coworkers find me bitchy and unlikable. It was tedious, but I truly thought I was being a polite, flexible communicator.

In reality, I was sabotaging myself.

Now that I’ve recategorized “being bitchy and unlikable” from fears to goals, I have embraced a more authentic communication style. And that’s allowed me to express myself more easily and effectively than I ever thought possible.

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Season 3, Episode 2: "I Inherited Money. Should I Pay Off Debt, Invest It, or Blow It All on a Car?"

Season 3, Episode 2: “I Inherited Money. Should I Pay Off Debt, Invest It, or Blow It All on a Car?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 6 Comments

This week on the podcast we’re dealing with a very foreign concept for many of us: an inheritance.

It’s what happens when one of your loved ones kicks the bucket and generously leaves some of their money to you.

But what do you do with a small inheritance? Do you use it to pay off your student loans? Buy a new car? Stash it in an emergency fund? Invest the whole damn thing and say your prayers to the Oracle of Omaha?

As usual, we have THOUGHTS. Listen to the episode to get them blasted straight into your ear holes!

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Season 3, Episode 1: "I Worry Paying for My Kids’ College Will Spoil Them. Don’t Student Loans Help Build Character?"

Season 3, Episode 1: “I Worry Paying for My Kids’ College Will Spoil Them. Don’t Student Loans Build Character?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 2 Comments

Do student loans build character? Or is debt in our fucked-up society suffering without meaning?

Who’s worse: the parents who give their kids every advantage in life even at their own expense? Or parents who withhold crucial help in order to teach toughness and independence? Truly, this is the weightiest question in the American experience since Jubilee asked if “a mall babe eats chili fries.” (The previous record-holder? Eh, probably Socrates?)

Here it is, Bitch Nation: the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The moment we’ve been teasing for months. It’s time for SEASON THREE OF THE BITCHES GET RICHES PODCAST!!!

Yeah, yeah, I know it took a while. But there were extenuating circumstances (see: coronavirus resulting in general ennui). But since we recently won the Plutus Award for Podcast of the Year (#stopthesteal), we figured we should get off our shapely butts and actually put out an episode of said podcast.

So here it is! And it’s a good one, if we do say so ourselves. In this episode we demonstrate our extensive parenting expertise (none) and experience with student loans (lots). We also wax philosophical about the future costs of higher education. Will little Timmy eventually have to fight in the Thunderdome to get into Princeton? Only time will tell!

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Frugal Disaster Preparedness for Chill People

Frugal Disaster Preparedness for Chill People

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 19 Comments

Disaster preparedness for chill people doesn’t really seem to exist. Like many personal finance nerds, I am a resource hoarder to my squirrelly little core. I finish every video game with a massive pile of money and top-tier supplies I worked feverishly to acquire, but never actually used.

It’s not a virtue… it’s an -itis. Don’t be like me, kids! Use those megalixers!

Given this facet of my personality, you’d think I’d be drawn to the survivalism (aka “prepping”) community. And I am—but I’ve never really gotten into it. Because most survivalist literature is too extreme for me. Exxxtreme, you could say. I swear I’ve read more than one “beginner’s guide” suggesting tools for your inevitable DIY dentistry. There is no Hint of Sea Salt prepping! FLAVOR-BLASTED ONLY!

But the coronavirus pandemic gave everyone fresh, realistic insights into what a modern large-scale disaster really looks like. Additionally, mine and Piggy’s homes have recently taken a pounding from unusual weather events caused by climate change (floods and storms for me, wildfires and droughts for Piggy). So I spent a lot of time this year thinking about this question:

What have I done—or owned—that made me actually safer or happier during a disaster?

It was hard to articulate… but it definitely wasn’t iodine tablets and camp stoves! See? I was right! As usual, I always find retrospective validation for my laziness, unpreparedness, and/or procrastination.

After a lot of deep thinking, I finally feel prepared (PREPPED?!) to define my own brand of survivalism. This is disaster preparedness for chill people!

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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about How to Pay off Debt

MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about How to Pay off Debt

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") Leave a comment

You’ve passed the trials. You’ve fought hard and won your place among the champions. At long last, it is time to be inducted into the Secret Society. Which secret society, you ask? It’s a secret.

As you take your place among the robed and hooded figures in this subterranean chamber, you know not what to expect. They are lit only by the flames of an ancient fire.

One by one, the hooded figures raise their arms to the stalactites above and intone:

Let us pay off debt, brothers and sisters!

Elmo amid the flames, presumably chanting "pay off debt."

Darling readers, debt fucking happens. Having debt doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, nor that you’re lazy or stupid. But it is something you’ll have to work hard to get past. So here is our collected advice on the subject of how to pay off debt.

Go forth and conquer, for you are soon to be debt-free!

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You Deserve Cheap Toilet Paper, You Beautiful Moon Goddess

You Deserve Cheap Toilet Paper, You Beautiful Moon Goddess

Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 20 Comments

In my short lifetime, I have heard more than one perfectly sensible person tell me they “can’t do” cheap toilet paper.

Rick knows how I feel.

I don’t know why people tell me these things.

It’s like they want me to cry out to Father Dagon and Mother Hydra and bid them raise an army of Deep Ones from the many-columned depths of Y’ha-nthlei to sweep over the land and drown the humans in a cosmic flood as recompense for their innumerable and unpardonable follies.

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I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 23 Comments

For years my husband Bear and I toiled away at low-paying non-profit jobs.

For the most part, our salaries were pretty comparable. With every raise or promotion, we’d leapfrog each other by small degrees. We both had side hustles, too: me as a freelance editor, him as a bouncer at a nightclub. (Which… sucked.)

Slowly, things changed.

My raises and promotions weren’t keeping up with his. He was outearning me, and able to quit his side hustle (which was great, because getting puked on is no fun). Whereas I had to freelance more to bring in even close to what he brought home. It was one of the first signs that I needed to quit my job at a non-profit publishing house. So I did. I left for a higher-paying job in the for-profit sector. And I was back on track, making a salary equal to my husband’s! All was well in the land of Equal Division of Labor!

But then things changed again.

I got a newer, better, cooler day job. My side business took off, too. And suddenly, I now make more money than my husband… by a lot. Which has given me a lot to think about what a truly equal marriage looks like.

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Ask the Bitches: I can't stand another day at my toxic workplace! Can I walk away without a new job lined up?"

Bonus Episode: “I Can’t Stand Another Day at My Toxic Workplace! Can I Walk Away Without a New Job Lined Up?”

Jess Fickett ("Piggy") 4 Comments

We come to you today with a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE™ of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. And it features a VERY SPECIAL GUEST™: Diania Merriam, owner and founder of theEconoMe Conference!

The question

As you guys know, we rarely have guests on the Bitches Get Riches podcast (unless they’re Santa Claus, of course). It’s a lot of pressure to keep up with our 15-year-long friendship of inside jokes and internalized poor taste. We can’t inflict that on just anyone.

But Diania is exactly the sort of brave bitch we knew could handle the challenge. And she’s got some personal experience with the question at hand! So we welcomed her onto the podcast to answer this question from an anonymous listener:

I work in an extremely toxic work environment. My boss is disrespectful, the whole company culture is abusive, and HR has been utterly dismissive of my issues. Walking in the door every morning feels like I’m entering Shawshank Penitentiary. I’m at the end of my rope and I know I have to leave to save myself. But I haven’t been able to land a new job yet. I have some savings, but I’m definitely not financially independent. I’d describe it as a small amount of ‘Fuck You Money,’ but not enough to live on for more than maybe 4-6 months. Should I quit? Even before I have a new job lined up?

– An anonymous Tumblr follower

Diana floored us with a bunch of great insights. (Did you know if you quit your job because of a hostile work environment, you’re still entitled to collect unemployment? We freakin’ didn’t! Huh, I wonder why workplaces don’t mention that fact more often?) Tune in to listen to the three of us discuss the answer.

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