If you work for a large company, or a well-connected small one, you should investigate if part of your benefits package includes any unexpectedly awesome free shit.
Many companies act as corporate sponsors of local theaters, symphonies, museums, zoos, sporting teams, and other cultural institutions. And sometimes their patronage can translate to free or discounted tickets for you.
This is also the case for many colleges and universities. Whether you’re a grad or undergrad, the right student ID can equal discounted membership, classes, and admission to any institution your school partners with. I regret not taking advantage of my college’s generous museum consortium membership more often when I was a student. (To be fair to myself, I had just discovered alcohol. So. Mm-hmm!)
This weekend, with one flash of my badge, I saved $54 in admission fees to one of the best aquariums in the country. It felt rather like a secret handshake—I would never have known it was possible if a coworker hadn’t mentioned it. We strolled around for hours, having a great time at one of the city’s best tourist destinations without spending a dime.
Moray eels are everything Disney made them out to be. They’re crafty, they’re sneaky, they’re scary, they have weird teeth. They look like dead dinosaur penises with mouths animated by electricity and sin. If they were humans, I think they would be public masturbators in New York City (the Worst City). They are unspeakably gross and untrustworthy. My official stance is that they should be eaten as unagi, allowing the human (me) to gain their dark eel powers for myself.
Here’s more on the fun happy side effects of employment: